The True Gift of Christmas - Devotion

Have you heard the expression, “too much of a good thing”?  Recently I was remembering a Christmas almost 40 years ago when I decided to have too much of a good thing and ended up very sick. I was probably about 6-years old and I decided to sneak out of bed and have a few Christmas tamales. I may have had more than a few and maybe I forgot they needed to be warmed up first.  They tasted yummy cold so I figured it was OK until I was sitting in church. All of a sudden my tummy didn't feel so good. Because my mom only trusts Mexican doctors or we didn't have great health insurance, we had to drive all the way across the border to see a doctor who made the embarrassing diagnosis that I was severely constipated.  I have never been able to look at tamales the same.  Oh, I still eat them at Christmas because it is a tradition but now I have some semblance of self-control.

This Christmas I am feeling a little constipated, not literally but metaphorically.  I feel like Christmas has become all about STUFF. Think about Black Friday.  We are leaving our families in the middle of celebrating. What could we possibly need that is worth giving up our family for? I had to ask myself, "How many presents do I actually buy for others instead of myself?" I guess I am just wondering why I worry so much about STUFF.   

My daughter has been crushed by disappointment again this Christmas. I can honestly say I had nothing to do with it. You see, she'd inherited my old cell phone and was glued to it ever since. We’d wake up in the morning to find that she’d been awake texting for hours. So this year, high on her Christmas list, was an iHome.  Then the unthinkable happened. Her phone died and not even Apple techs could resurrect it. Because I'd already bought and wrapped her present, she had to unwrap and return it. Man, did she throw a huge “TWEEN pity party” and I can tell you it was not pretty.  I truly believe I was seeing texting withdrawals. This attitude started to bug because she was completely oblivious to the blessings in her life. She was fixated on “STUFF”.  WANT, WANT, WANT was all I was hearing.

As parents we want to provide for our children. We want to see them happy. I realize that at her age the loss of her phone was overwhelming because literally every person she knows has his or her own phone.  Part of me wanted to replace her phone for Christmas because, other than the occasional Tween drama, she's a great kid.  But more importantly, I want for her to grow up appreciating every blessing in her life because we don’t always get what we want in life and that's a very good thing. 

I grew up in a home with hard working parents.  We had plenty of love but were short on funds. My sisters and I joke that the reason we are such terrible cooks is that we literally grew up eating boiled eggs and potatoes, bean and tortillas, rabbit, and our idea of PB&J was on corn tortillas not bread.  But I loved my childhood and look back on it fondly. My favorite Christmas memory was the year my sister and I got $25 each from a great uncle. Now you may think that because we didn't have extra money our initial thought would have been to send it on ourselves but surprisingly it wasn't. Our first thought was to pool our money and to buy our extended family, aunts, uncles and cousins a Christmas gift.  Our parents drove us to Kmart and we spent the next few hours shopping for everyone on our list.  Every single item was carefully considered because we wanted to please our family.  It was awesome! Of course, we miscalculated the total and we ended up being $11 short. The funny thing is that I was pretty young and I remember the exact amount because that day had a huge impact on my life.   

That is the type of Christmas experience I want my daughter to have.  Because when you give freely with love it is the greatest rush of happiness you will every experience.  I think the scripture verse, “It is better to give than to receive” (Acts 20:35) refers to this supernatural blessing you feel when you give like this. Some children are born with generous hearts. You will see young children in elementary school organizing fundraisers for disaster relief or charitable organizations. Other children need to have this behavior modeled for them.

Children are not the only ones that struggle with generosity.  I know as I got older, I began to stress about having sufficient income to pay bills. It became harder for me to be generous. OK, my husband calls me CHEAP. How rude! Out of the two of us, he's always generous. His first impulse is to give. I usually have to analyze it to death.  I have found that many times my heart wants to give but fear of being without hinders me. It is at these times that it takes me stepping out in faith and holding on to the promises of God.

2 Corinthians 9:7 (CEV)

 Each of you must make up your own mind about how much to give. But don’t feel sorry that you must give and don’t feel that you are forced to give. God loves people who love to give.

Proverbs 19:17 (NLT)

If you help the poor, you are lending to the Lord— and he will repay you!

Proverbs 22:9 (NLT)

Blessed are those who are generous, because they feed the poor.

Luke 6:38 (NLT)

Give, and you will receive. Your gift will return to you in full—pressed down, shaken together to make room for more, running over, and poured into your lap. The amount you give will determine the amount you get back. 

So this Christmas, as annoyed as I was with my daughter’s attitude, I really couldn't blame anyone but myself.  You know that scripture, “Why do you judge the speck of sawdust in your neighbor’s eyes when you have a log in your own”? (Matthew 7:3).  I think that was why her attitude was bugging me so much because it was like staring at my own selfishness. She is a child who is barely learning God's word and I am the adult who has been saved for 20 years. As weird as it sounds, it was a blessing to grow up with less.  It was a blessing when my mom modeled generosity by taking us to Mexico and pulling over the car in a dirt lot filled with cardboard houses to hand out food and clothes. It was a blessing when I saw my parents open their home to friends with less than we had. It was a blessing to have aunts and uncles that came along side my parents and gave unselfishly.  It was a blessing to expect only a couple gifts underneath the tree and to be excited about them. It was a blessing to help provide for my family as a child by doing part-time work at home. These are the times my parents were modeling generosity and gratitude. I am failing as a parent if I do not do the same.

I started reflecting on King Solomon and read the account of his life in The Book of Ecclesiastes. When the kingdom was passing to Solomon, God appeared to him and told him that He would give him anything he asked for (2 Chronicles 1:7).  Solomon asked for wisdom because he knew he needed God’s wisdom in order to be a good king.  God was very pleased with this answer so He blessed him with wisdom but He also blessed him with wealth beyond any king that has ever lived. (1 Chronicles 1:12).  As Solomon gained wealth, he lost sight of God and became absorbed in worldly pleasures. He says in Ecclesiastes that "he denied himself no pleasure". He had wealth, possession, women and prestige. The more “stuff” he attained the farther he strayed from God and the more discouraged he became.  He describes his life and possessions as meaningless and empty. He said the pursuit of these things was "like chasing the wind". At the end of his life he basically concluded that God has planted eternity in our human hearts (3:11) so that we will long for a relationship with God. If we attempt to fill our hearts with “stuff” we will end up feeling empty and discouraged like Solomon.  The Book of Ecclesiastes is Solomon's warning to us to learn from his mistakes and he warns us that true contentment can only be found in God and keeping His commandments. That is why the bible says:

Matthew 6:19-21 (MSG)

“Don’t hoard treasure down here where it gets eaten by moths and corroded by rust or—worse!—stolen by burglars. Stockpile treasure in heaven, where it’s safe from moth and rust and burglars. It’s obvious, isn't it? The place where your treasure is, is the place you will most want to be, and end up being.

So how do I store up treasures in Heaven and how do I model this for my daughter?  It is going to be a learning process for both of us.  First, it will be about cutting back to the basics on gifts. Smaller and less is more appreciated.  Do you know that after the phone debacle it took her about 2 weeks to recover from text withdrawals and suddenly her old DS was discovered underneath her bed.  Also, in order for her to value money and to truly feel the cost of “stuff”, we have started giving her $10 per month allowance. Out of that money, she must set aside 10% to tithe to the church and 10% to savings.  The rest she can spend as she pleases.  It is amazing when she is spending her own money, suddenly items that seemed like necessities can suddenly be lived without.  Most importantly, we are going to find opportunities to give and serve others. 

And because I know myself, I know I am going to mess up in this modeling thing so luckily God gave us the perfect model of generosity.

James 1:17-18 (NLT)

 Whatever is good and perfect comes down to us from God our Father, who created all the lights in the heavens.  He never changes or casts a shifting shadow.  He chose to give birth to us by giving us his true word. And we, out of all creation, became his prized possession. 

Jesus was God’s good and perfect gift to us.  God’s one and only Son given to us as a living sacrifice to pay the price for our sins so that we may become adopted sons and daughters and gain the inheritance of Heaven and eternal life.  The God of the universe, that literally holds the world is His hands, calls us his “prized possession”.   That is the greatest Christmas gift of all.   

Recently, I was sent this video of a Flash Mob breaking out in spontaneous singing of Christmas songs at a mall.  What touched me the most about this video was the reaction and faces of those watching.  Everyone around stopped his or her hustle and bustle of Christmas shopping to hear the worship music dedicated to Jesus. Some stood in awe, others in surprise, others had tears, yet no one sneered.  I think that this illustrates Solomon’s point that God has placed the longing for eternity in our hearts because we if take the time to listen we all recognize His voice when He is calling to us.  So this Christmas, if you are blessed enough to have presents underneath the tree, remember that the TRUE gift of Christmas is God's PRESENCE freely offered to you in the person of Jesus whose very name means"God with us". Not because we have been good or bad this year but because God the Father sees us, knows us, created us, longs for us, and wants to adopt us as a son or daughter.  Open your eyes, ears, and heart to the miracle of Christmas and reach up your hands and accept His gift of salvation.

Isaiah 9:6-10 (CEB)

A child is born to us, a son is given to us, and authority will be on his shoulders.
He will be named Wonderful Counselor, Mighty God, Eternal Father, Prince of Peace.
There will be vast authority and endless peace for David’s throne and for his kingdom,
establishing and sustaining it with justice and righteousness now and forever.

The zeal of the Lord of heavenly forces will do this.

Wishing you and yours a very Merry Christmas.
Love,
Yolanda

This post was shared on http://joyinthisjourney.com/2013/01/when-youre-scared-to-write-unmasked-and-you-host-lifeunmasked/

Flash Mob Video

Worship Song: How Many Kings by Downhere

This next song is for me...

  

Give the Gift of Hope - Hope for the Grieving

Have you ever posted, liked, commented on Facebook and then thought, “Dang it, I probably shouldn't have done that?”  OK, maybe I had one of those moments last night.  Thank goodness I don’t have a Twitter account where people share every though that comes into their brain. I would get myself in trouble so fast I’d be like one of those celebrities having to issue speedy apologies and then go to rehab as public penance.

My recent questionable post didn't get any hateful comments. I just got ominous silence, which could mean absolutely nothing except that I tend to be a paranoid freak.  The post had a picture and a quote about grieving for a loved one:

My comment read: I love this photo and it reminded me of one of my favorite scriptures.

1 Thessalonians 4:13-18 The Lord’s Coming

My friends, we want you to understand how it will be for those followers who have already died. Then you won’t grieve over them and be like people who don’t have any hope. We believe that Jesus died and was raised to life. We also believe that when God brings Jesus back again, he will bring with him all who had faith in Jesus before they died. Our Lord Jesus told us that when he comes, we won’t go up to meet him ahead of his followers who have already died.

With a loud command and with the shout of the chief angel and a blast of God’s trumpet, the Lord will return from heaven. Then those who had faith in Christ before they died will be raised to life. Next, all of us who are still alive will be taken up into the clouds together with them to meet the Lord in the sky. From that time on we will all be with the Lord forever. Encourage each other with these words.

This photo was posted on Facebook by a friend who recently lost their wife.  When I read this quote on relationships, I loved it and it filled me with happiness and hope. My initial reaction to this comment was that we don’t have to be sad when we lose a loved one because we have the hope of Heaven and seeing them for eternity.  For example, I look forward to seeing my grandmother again and have absolute faith that she is in Heaven having a grand old time and I will see her again when I take my last breath.  Unless of course I am going to be held accountable for questionable Facebook posts then I’m sunk.  Just Kidding! Thank you Jesus for your grace and forgiveness that covers a multitude of my sin. (1 Peter 4:8, Isaiah 38:17)

So in my defense when I read this picture, 1 Thessalonians 4:13-18 came to mind because I have an eternal hope and perspective on death.  But I still woke up this morning with a bad feeling that maybe I was insensitive to people grieving.  Perhaps the person that shared this photo was sad and I misunderstood the meaning of this quote. My immediate instinct was to delete this post off my wall but then I felt guilty about deleting God’s word. Was I ashamed of the gospel? Was I afraid to share my faith? Am I completely over thinking this? Probably. I thought I was offering hope but maybe I unintentionally hurt someone. I have been to three funerals this year and have witnessed friends suffering great pain and grief. I have shed tears with them but I do not claim to know the depth of their sorrow.  The grieving process differs for every individual.  But GOD gives us His Word so that we can have light to guide us in our darkest hours.  The light is our hope in things that are eternal.  Hope is defined as “confident expectation”.  We can be confident in God’s promise for eternal life.  

 1 Peter 1:3-4 (NLT)
The Hope of Eternal Life

All praise to God, the Father of our Lord Jesus Christ. It is by his great mercy that we have been born again, because God raised Jesus Christ from the dead. Now we live with great expectation, and we have a priceless inheritance—an inheritance that is kept in heaven for you, pure and undefiled, beyond the reach of change and decay. 

Recently, I watched a great interview on the Katie Couric Show that really encouraged my faith and made Heaven come alive for me.  Mary C. Neal, MD was interviewed about her book, To Heaven and Back, which is a beautiful account of her spiritual journey to heaven and back after drowning in a kayak accident.  After watching her amazing testimony on the show, I ran to my local Target to buy her book and read it in two days.  I highly recommend it because her testimony will totally blow you away and remind you how much God loves you and desires to spend eternity with you.  It is also a great book for those who have lost a loved one because she shares her heartbreaking testimony of losing her son and also how she has been able to cope by experiencing the hope of heaven.  Because she does a much better job of describing this experience, here are two videos I’d like to share with you. First is a preview of her book and the second is her interview on Katie Couric. I hope they bless you as much as they blessed me.

Watch by clicking on link: Mary C. Neal,MD on Katie Couric

Lastly, I would like to apologize if I seemed insensitive about the loss of a loved one. I truly only saw the peace that comes with knowing that if we believe in Jesus Christ we are promised eternal life with Him and those believers that have gone before us.  We do not have to fear death because Jesus conquered death for us.

 Hebrews 2:14 (MSG)

Since the children are made of flesh and blood, it’s logical that the Savior took on flesh and blood in order to rescue them by his death. By embracing death, taking it into himself, he destroyed the Devil’s hold on death and freed all who cower through life, scared to death of death.

 John 11:25 (NIV) Jesus said to her, “I am the resurrection and the life. The one who believes in me will live, even though they die;

 Revelation 21:4 (NLT) He will wipe every tear from their eyes, and there will be no more death or sorrow or crying or pain. All these things are gone forever.

So I have decided to keep my post on my Facebook wall because God’s word is powerful and He will use it for His glory even if I mess up the delivery.

Isaiah 55:11 (NLT)

It is the same with my word.  I send it out, and it always produces fruit. It will accomplish all I want it to,and it will prosper everywhere I send it.

Also, when we have good news, we need to share it. How often do we tell our friends when we have received an unexpected Christmas bonus, our child has amazed us with their greatness, we got a great shopping deal, or our prayers have been answered. All this is easily shared. How much more should we share God's free gift of eternal life that is ours for the asking? Paul said in 2 Corinthians 3:12 "Therefore, since we have such hope, we use great boldness of speech.” So even though it is scary sometimes and we stumble through the delivery, proclaim God's goodness and love this season. You never know who needs the gift of hope this Christmas. 

 Love,

Yolanda

Happy Thanksgiving

Happy Thanksgiving! Today is more than just about eating turkey and pumpkin pie. Today is a day to stop and give thanks for all the blessings in my life. Thank you Jesus for my family and friends, for my daily provisions, but most importantly for YOUR grace, mercy and love.

May the Lord Jesus bless you and keep you safe.

Love,

Yolanda 

  

Psalm 106

¹ Praise the Lord!

Give thanks to the Lord, for he is good!
    His faithful love endures forever.

Mom's Happy Dance

Whew hew! Oh yeah!  House to myself…doing the happy dance! My husband has taken our daughter on a camping trip and I have a whole 24 hours to myself. Hubby thought I deserved some time to myself since I started home schooling OR he saw some crazy look in my eye but who cares. LOVE HIM.  I am so excited I don’t know what to do first. Should I get a pedicure, a movie, or dinner?  Or all three? Should I be good and clean the house…. NAH! 

There is something wonderful about having moments for yourself, to be quiet and in the company of your own thoughts. This post is going to be really short because I don’t want to waste a minute of these 24 hours. I love my husband and daughter and I am blessed to have them in my life but I couldn't help the spontaneous happy dance as the truck rolled away. FREE, FREE, FREE.  No making dinner, no last minute crisis, no answering a million questions, no sharing the TV or the bed.  I can literally lie in the middle of the bed, hog all the pillows and blankets and watch some sappy love story until all hours of the night.  I am going to de-stress the brain because…..

Home schooling is HARD!  This week tested all of my endurance and patience. My daughter has a science project where she has to create an exciting poster for the four types of energy. She is being graded on creativity.  How do you make a poster on chemical and thermal energy exciting?  I’m the kind of person that has to complete their work early so it is off my back.  I am learning my daughter kind of likes to live on the edge of deadlines. She doesn't stress or worry and doesn't quite get it when I start banging my head on the desk and pulling my hair out.  After struggling the last couple weeks trying to figure out what exactly are chemical and thermal energy (I still don’t get it) I was determined we finish the poster on Friday! It is not due for another week but I don’t care. I couldn't take it haunting me anymore. So four hours later, minus of few tears, which were my own, we finished!  My daughter thinks we won’t get higher than a B- but I can live with that.  I tell you, A’s are overrated. 

I wanted to wrap up this post with some encouraging words but my brain is done processing. I just want to get up and dance, dance, dance. So I'll leave you moms and dads with only this word of encouragement: Give each other those blessed moments of quiet time to refresh and de-stress. It will make you a better parent.  It also provides a wonderful opportunity to spend one-on-one time with your child.  Don’t feel guilty about spending some time on yourself because absence really does make the heart grow fonder. By Sunday, I will be anxious to see my daughter home safe and sound and I will be very grateful to my husband so I won’t mind sharing the remote or the blankets.J

Jeremiah 31:25-26 (CEV) Those who feel tired and worn out will find new life and energy and when they sleep, they will wake up refreshed.

Here’s my favorite Happy Dance song. Take some time to dance with Jesus today.

Love,

Yolanda

    

  

Grading Mom on a Curve

Eleven years ago today at exactly 7:59 a.m., I gave birth to my one and only child.  In these last 11 years I have made plenty of mistakes but I have learned plenty too. If I were to give myself a "Mom Grade" I would give myself a B-.  Not too bad considering I dropped her off the couch when she was about 2 days old and last year I crushed her dreams about Santa Clause.  In celebration of her birthday, here are 11 things that I have learned or am learning about parenting a Tween girl:

1.  Your grade goes down considerably if you can't braid hair. Dang that Katniss Everdeen and her cool Hunger Games braid!

B- attempt at Katniss braid.

2.  It is completely ineffective to lecture about drinking water verses soda for maintaining clear skin while drinking a diet coke.

3.  Agreeing to host a Tween Sleepover birthday party, while husband is away at a boys camping trip, raised my grade a little and made up for lack of braiding skill….almost.

4.  Laughing or groaning while having to inspect new growths, weird bumps, rashes, injuries, hair-do experiments is not appreciated.

5.   Never let Dad buy Tween underwear unless you want to wear rejected granny panties.

6. Moms must develop a tough skin because apparently I make some “weird” face while watching her play volleyball that stresses her out. Can I help it if I find her games a little intense? Luckily, I am being graded on a curve so my loud and enthusiastic cheering has balanced out my weird face even though I have lost several points for yelling, “Out” when the ball was “In”.  SORRY!

7.  I have learned a valuable home school lesson.  Yelling while repeating information over and over again is not teaching. Who knew?

8.  My love of writing was not inherited but my complete dislike and inability to clean house was.  Bummer!

9.  Moms must maintain friendships and interests outside of their children because soon you will be uninvited and you must not get your feelings hurt. Daughter: “Mom, you’re not going to go when Hayley takes me to the mall are you?  You can go if you want (sad face).” Or during sleepover, “Mom, you’re not going to be hanging out around my friends and telling weird stories. My response: "What do you think I would rather do, hang out with you girls or hide in my room with a good book and my own movie?” Enough said.

10.  I have discovered two requirements that you need to survive the Tween years without significantly lowering your “Mom Grade”, remember to be honest and laugh!  I am finding at this time that my daughter has a lot of questions and they usually come up at the weirdest times, usually while I’m driving. Take for example the other day, we are driving to volleyball practice and she asked me about boobs. It seems a friend unintentionally made her feel bad while they were changing when she declared, “Boy’s prefer girls with big boobs.” OK, I about died! But I had two choices, freak out and start lecturing or laugh and be honest. So here was my wisdom on boob size. Small boobs are better. It is easier to play sports! Good one. As you age, small boobs sag less. I was able to point to myself as exhibit A which completely grossed her out but made her readily agree.  I guess I could have gone with inner beauty and all that. OOPS! Next time.

11. Finally, I have learned that I still have a lot to learn.  The other day my daughter had to write a paragraph on who is your greatest role model and why?  She couldn't think of anyone which really stressed me out because I figured I am failing as a teacher and a parent. My husband even tried to toss me a bone and asked her, “What about Mom? She’s is helping you with school. Driving you all over town for volleyball?” Her response, “Nah!” My husband knew better then to suggest he be considered as a role model. So guess who she ended up writing about, her BFF that brought up the whole boob fiasco! Oh well, better luck next year.

All joking aside, raising girls is hard! I find myself stressing over everything, even writing this post today.  I worry about her succumbing to peer pressure, having good friends, succeeding in school, injuries in sports, having self-confidence without vanity, being kind and having real faith in Christ.  I must have asked her a hundred times if she was OK with this post because I started stressing about cyber bullying and what if she is running for high school senior president and someone brings up this post and makes fun of her. She just looked at me and said, "Isn't that like 7 years from now? You worry too much! Just relax."  As I write this, it brings tears to my eyes because she is such a blessing to me. Yes, its hard sometimes and I want to bang my head on my keyboard but she is my saving grace. Saving grace can be defined as a character that makes up for someones shortcomings.  Her joy and sweetness bring balance to my life. She makes me strive to be better.

Happy Birthday Baby Girl. I love you. Thank you for bringing laughter and joy into my life. You are my greatest gift from the Lord and not just because you provide the greatest inspiration for my writing.

Love,
Yolanda

PS: I found this great worship song that I am dedicating to my daughter and I because God is not finished with us yet and He'll guide us through these Tween years. I am excited for God's plan and we'll "Wait and See".

Every Marlin Needs a Dory

Have you ever been swimming through life, so stressed that you can’t stop to take a breath or in such a rut that you're just kind of treading water? Then out of nowhere someone crashes into your life, knocks you off balance, pushes you out of your boring, predicable, safe existence and shakes you up for the better?  Take for example when Marlin meets Dory in the Disney-Pixar movie Finding Nemo.   Dory crashes into Marlin and knocks him out of his restrictive box of fear that imprisons him. She is full of joy, confident and optimistic.  Dory saves Marlin from despair when he loses his son. Her influence makes him bolder, stronger, braver, and eventually a better father and friend. That is pretty much what happened to me, over 20 years ago, on a college campus. 

I remember that first year at college, overwhelmed by my new environment. One day when I was leaving class, with my head down, attempting to not draw attention to myself, suddenly a little Filipino girl comes right into my personal space and goes, “Hi, my name is Joan. You are in almost all my classes and you seem either shy or stuck up.” I think I mumbled something about being shy so she goes, “OK, then let’s go to lunch – YOU drive because I don’t have my license.”   And before I knew it I had a best friend and our new adventure had begun. From that day on, we started swimming in the same direction.  She would push me out of my shell and I would rein her in when we swam too far from shore.

I am very much like Marlin. I like to feel safe. I am not a risk taker. I over analyze everything before attempting it.  I think from my past writings I have mentioned how I can be sadly ruled by paralyzing fear. So what a gift is was when at age 18 I met my Dory.  If you Marlins out there don’t have a Dory in your life you need to pray for one.  My Dory opened up my world to new cultures, adventures and friends. She literally made me travel out of the comfort zone of my safe little rural town into the big city and for that I am grateful.

Soon after we met, I got saved during a weekend bible study.  When I got back to school on Monday there was no question in my mind that Joan would get saved too.  I knew in my heart that I had found a life and soul saving faith and decided what was good for me was good for her.  I did not convince her with inspired, intellectual words of Bible knowledge (frankly, I did not know any), nor had I come back to school in nuns garb ready to join the mission field (I still had plans to go dancing that weekend).  I just knew, that I knew, that I had been saved from an eternity in Hell and there was no way that I was going to let my friend Joan go there.

As I write this post as a tribute to my Dory's birthday, I have realized that is what Jesus meant when He said, “Love your neighbor as yourself.” (Mark 12:31)

You see, a lot of us get saved and we are so grateful that we have escaped Hell and eternal darkness.  We live our lives with an eternal hope and yet we hoard this hope within ourselves.  It is not that we don’t love others. We do. We actually love them so much that we don’t want to loose their respect or affection.  We worry that if we share our faith we risk loosing them here on earth. I have realized that I would rather risk losing them here on earth than risk not having them with me in Heaven for eternity. 

Jesus shared his heart when he commanded us, “I’ve told you these things for a purpose: that my joy might be your joy, and your joy wholly mature. This is my command: Love one another as the way I loved you. This is the best way to love.  Put your life on the line for your friends…. I have named you friends because I’ve let you in on everything I’ve heard from the father.” John 15:12 (MSG)

Now I have always interpreted this phrase "Put your life on the line for your friends” as simply being willing to die for them. But what if it also means sacrificing your pride, reputation, maybe even your “cool” factor.  Maybe, just maybe, the way to reach our friends is as simple as loving them and them loving us.  If we have built a friendship based on trust and genuine affection then they are going to trust that we have their best interests at heart.  But I'll share one bit of advice that I have learned the hard way, don’t be a phony Christian with your friends. 1) They will see right through you and 2) They’ll call you on it and be turned off. Be honest about your struggles with doubt, sin, and faith.  Our Christian walk is a journey filled with valleys, mountains made out of mole-hills, and glorious summits. Let your friends go with you through it all and be willing to go with them on their journey but don’t judge each other.

Because I often need a reminder, I looked up Romans 12:16-19 (MSG) to remind myself how God desires me to SEE and TREAT others: 

Bless your enemies; no cursing under our breath. Laugh with your happy friends when they’re happy; share tears when they’re down. Get along with each other; don’t be stuck-up. Make friends with nobodies; don’t be a great somebody.  Don’t hit back; discover beauty in everyone. If you’ve got it in you, get along with everybody. Don’t insist on getting even; that’s not for you to do. “I’ll do the judging,” says God. “I’ll take care of it.”   

Once saved, my Dory took off swimming – FAST. I struggled to keep up with her.  The awesome thing about Dories is that they are fearless.  She was open to the gifts of the Spirit and has been blessed with a beautiful voice that she has used to praise her Savior.  My walk was more like dog-paddling, slow and steady and I envy (in a good way) her Spiritual gifts.  Her unfailing faith has reached her family and friends because she also understood the necessity of loving her neighbors as herself. 

Today is my Dory’s birthday and I wanted to thank her for crashing into my life.  Although I may not see her as often as I like because I have my own little Nemo to care for, we still love one another and we look forward to an eternity of hanging out, singing and dancing.  As we have grown older, at times our roles have reversed. I would be more like the optimistic Dory and my friend would be struggling with Marlin like fears.  At times we have both been facing a deadly shark or felt swallowed by a whale.  Those are the times we have been able to encourage one another.  That is the beauty of friendships based on God’s saving Grace and unconditional love.  The years can pass, we can live in different cities, our lives can be going through different seasons but that bond that was forged on the Cross has lasted.  After 20 years of being saved, are we perfect? NOPE! But that is what makes us perfect friends.

So I ask you, Christians are you loving your neighbor as you much as you love yourself?  Do you have a Dory or a Marlin that you can’t imagine living eternity without?  Follow this simple instruction, “Let’s not merely say we love each other; let us show the truth by our actions.”  1 John 3:18 (NLT) The emphasis here is in the “truth of our actions”. Be truthful. Share your testimony of salvation.  Your friends may relate more to your weaknesses than you realize.  You have the lifeboat, the branch, the airbag, the safety net, the fire extinguisher, and the healing power of Jesus.  When your friends trust you, it may be as simple as inviting them to church or a college bible study.

I love you, Joan. Happy Birthday.  “Just keep swimming!”    
Love,
Yolanda  

Joan, this songs for you.

Home School Phobia

Do you remember when we were kids and the night before school started would come the dreaded naked dream? You know the one. You are heading for class and suddenly you look down and you are naked, in your underwear or something equally horrifying.  I would have this dream every year like clockwork.  Well this year, I would gladly take my naked dream over the sudden onslaught of H.S.P (otherwise known as Home School Phobia).  Did you know that there is such a thing as School Phobia? If I try hard enough I can always find an excuse for all of my craziness. The symptoms of this phobia are dizziness, stomach aches, headaches, fatigue, and anxiety.  Technically, the desire to curl into the fetal position is not listed as a symptom but I think it should be.  

This year I have decided to bite the bullet and home school. Do I want to home school? No. But you know how sometimes life requires you to make hard choices for the better good. Well this year the better good is getting my daughter into an excellent charter school. This school is so coveted that there is a huge waiting list and the registration process resembles the line at the DMV just more efficient and better organized. Every child’s name goes into a lottery system for a chance of being on campus five days a week.  If you don’t win the lottery, you have to be willing to home school 5 days a week or if God has mercy on your peace of mind and heart condition, you are blessed with only having to home school 3 days a week.   God knows I already live on Bayer Aspirin so thankfully I am only responsible for teaching history, science and P.E. three days a week.  How bad can I mess that up? Don’t answer that.

Luckily, for my sake and my daughter’s, I will not have to “teach” her math.  I confess I was a straight A student but math has always been my Achilles Heel. Apparently being math challenged is a genetic trait so my daughter is currently being tutored because the last time I helped her on her 4^th grade homework she got an F.  And most recently when I corrected her tutoring homework (cheating with a calculator) we still got two wrong.  I know, how does that even happen?

Yesterday, I attended the charter school orientation meeting and came home suffering a complete panic attack.  Attempting to not freak out my daughter, I painted a smile on my face and went and hid in my room for a while.  My husband took one look at my pale face and started to give me the “man” talk about how this was MY brilliant idea.  He must have quickly realized I was crawling into the fetal position and finally just gave me a hug.  Sometimes hugs are a very good thing. 

 

I know that in the long run this is the best course of action for my daughter but this road is going to be hard and require sacrifices.  Because I am going to be home more, my husband is going to require home cooked meals that do not include “frozen” or “processed” as the main ingredient.  Also, the house is going to have to be clean and not just have the appearance of being clean that is obtained by spraying Clorox Clean-Up right before hubby comes home.  Also, I am responsible for teaching my child physical education and I am pretty sure that entails some form of physical activity requiring sweating. Unfortunately, blogging is not considered a sport.

The hardest part for me will be not be working full time.  After my daughter was born, I gave up my job at a large corporation and I really struggled losing my work identity.  I loved the fellowship of my coworkers and the fulfillment of doing a good job. Being a stay at home mom was a blessing but sometimes as moms we lose a little bit of ourselves in the process especially when domestically challenged.  I thrive in a work environment.  These last few years, I had gone back to work full time while my daughter was at school and I had found myself again.  Today as my coworkers went back to their classrooms, I felt a sense of depression and loneliness.  I am going to miss not seeing my preschoolers and fellow teachers everyday but I am praying that the Lord opens the doors for me to work those two glorious “free” days because I think God knows that my mental, emotional and spiritual health need it.

With the stress and anxiety that comes from life changes and challenges comes the doubts.  Am I doing the right thing? Should I have just stayed status quo at her old school?  Am I capable of home schooling? How will this affect my relationship with my daughter, my husband? OK….breath.  Refrain from the fetal position.  The great thing about stress though is that it gets you back to praying and relying on God.  I admit I have been spiritually coasting this summer.  Placing God on the back burner until summer was over.  But as I have hit this wall of panic, I know that the only one that can help me is Jesus.  My fellow home school moms have reminded me that I am capable academically. I excelled in school, I’m organized, I’m a rule follower, basically I was a teacher’s pet.  Now I just have to pass on these skills to my daughter. But I also know my limitations and fears so we will be starting each school morning with prayer and devotion.  I am trusting God to help me with all of the rest. Ultimately I know He is in control. I just have to take the steps of faith.  I love that scene from the movie Indiana Jones and the Last Crusade when Jones has to take a leap of faith off the cliff and when he does an invisible bridge appears.  That is what I feel like right now as I type this post, like I am stepping off a ledge of security unto the unknown.  But I know I must have faith that Jesus will be my bridge.

Isaiah 41:10 (NLT) Don’t be afraid, for I am with you. Don’t be discouraged for I am your God. I will strengthen you and help you. I will hold you up with my victorious right hand. 

 

 Love, 

Yolanda

Am I BRAVE Enough to Survive Tweenhood?

Recently I suffered a mild panic attack while my daughter was away at camp. I started stressing and doubting my parenting skills, probably because my daughter has entered this strange and scary age known as Tweenhood and I feel totally unprepared.  I have not experienced such a feeling of overwhelming doubt since my daughter was born.  During the first four months of her life I suffered from post partum depression and sleep deprivation.  I was in such a daze of worry and panic about caring for an infant that I neglected to enjoy the blessing of having a new baby.  This has been my biggest regret in parenting so far and I wish I could be given those four months again as a do over.

After slapping myself around and telling myself that I would not allow fear and doubt to rob me of this next season of my daughter’s life, I did what I have always been good at, admitting my ignorance, hitting the books, and doing some research.  I would like to share with you two things that I believe were divinely placed in my sights that gave me a sense of peace and confidence that I can brave this new frontier with my daughter and that both of us are going to come out OK.

First, I discovered a Christian book, Mom‘s Ultimate Guide to the Tween Girl World by Nancy Rue, that is an absolute must if you are a mom of a tween.  I discovered that tweens are between the age of 8-12 and are starting to experience all the ‘”joys“ of puberty.  The average girl starts puberty at age 9.  Scary! This book helped me realize that this stage of development is not to be feared but embraced.  The author writes, “For example, in the tween years, your daughter is still more likely to look to you for guidance, security, and all-out authority than she is anyone else…She wants you. She responds to you. She soaks you up like the proverbial sponge, especially when you aren’t looking.”  The author, who specializes in girls of this age, gives tools for moms to use ("before the confusion and cynicism of the teenage years"), to build a solid relationship with their daughters that has a foundation of love, acceptance, humor and open communication.  Our job as moms is to guide not dictate.  We must guide them to become the women God has created and uniquely gifted them to be, which may or may not be what we have planned.  The author, Nancy Rue, has a prayer format she uses after each chapter, and my favorite prayer is:  “Lord God, thank you for making ___________ everything you want her to be. Please help me to see what that is.  Please guide me in guiding her to embrace her me-ness. I know I can’t do it for her, so please, please bridge the gap between what she needs in order to be truly authentic, and what help I have to give.”   I would lend you ladies my copy of the book, but I have completely highlighted it, written notes, and it is going to sit on my night stand for the next few years.  I recommend getting your own.

Secondly, you must make a date with your daughter to see the movie BRAVE.  This movie is a wonderful portrayal of a mother and daughter having to learn to listen to one another.  As they are forced to team up to fight an evil spell, they begin to see and appreciate their differences and uniqueness.  In the beginning of the movie, the mother only sees one path and destiny for her daughter, HER path, and she demands perfection.  By refusing to acknowledge that the daughter is gifted and talented in areas that are different from her own, she is slowly destroying the spirit of her daughter.   Soon, the daughter rebels and ends up getting herself into trouble and risking the life of her mother.  The movie ends with mom becoming the fierce “mama bear” that saves her daughter’s life and the daughter realizes that her mom, even though she has made some mistakes, has always been there for her.   Mom realizes that in order for her daughter to be truly happy, she must find and follow her own path.  Moms, bring a tissue, because if you are anything like me, you will see yourself in this mom’s shoes.        

Photo inspiration for this post provided by my friend, Chelsea. 

I want to end with this adorable picture of my friend’s daughter in her mom’s shoes.  Lately my daughter has taken to borrowing my high heels and parading around the house.  More frightening then the fact that she fits in my shoes is that she actually walks better in them than I do.  This is the perfect image to illustrate the tween heart.  They want to step into our shoes for a season and try them on for size, but the path they walk in has to be the one God has set for them.   We can hold their hand and help them keep their balance, but before long we must set them loose to dance to their own tune that the Holy Spirit has placed in their hearts.  But moms, we can rest in the knowledge that God is going to fill in the gaps of our guidance because He loves our little girls more than we do.

Psalm 32:8 (NIV)
I will instruct you and teach you in the way you should go, I will counsel you with my loving eye on you.

Proverbs 1:33 (NIV)
But whoever listens to me will live safely and be at ease, without fear of harm.

Before you think I have this whole tween thing figured out, my daughter is currently in her room reflecting on how it’s probably not a good idea to talk back to your mom after she treated you to a movie, lunch, and some play time with her cousins.  Oh well, one positive is that I had a little peace and quiet to finish my post.

Love,
Yolanda

Are You There God? It's Me, Yolanda.

Have you ever had one of those days when you wish your life came with a rewind button?  When my daughter was born, I couldn't wait for her to sleep through the night. When she slept through the night, I couldn't wait for her to get out of her crib. When she crawled, I couldn't wait for her to walk.  You get the picture.  I was always anticipating the next stage.  Then she hit kindergarten.  All of a sudden, that advice, “Enjoy the moment because before you know it it’s gone” struck home.  I blinked and she was graduating from kindergarten, then first grade, second, and third. Now junior high is right around the corner and I am not ready.  REWIND, REWIND, REWIND.

Yesterday, we had one of those mother/daughter days that either kills you or makes you stronger.  We had to shop for her first bra.  Now before you get all mad, I got my daughter's permission to write this post.  I have been dreading this day. I literally felt sick to my stomach.  You see, when I hit puberty, I went a little crazy.  I have discovered over the years that any hormone imbalance quickly makes me wacky.  I remember getting all emotional, hiding in my room, and basically turning into a “freak” like my sister fondly recalls.  My daughter, on the other hand, is totally cool about it all. Last year, she asked me about the big P.E.R.I.O.D while I was driving.  You see, I can’t even say it. I have to spell it. I tried to stall, jump out of the car, but she was determined.  So I gave her my interpretation of the whole bloody mess (no pun intended) and quickly went and purchased the book, “The Care & Keeping of You (American Girl) by Valorie Schaefer.  I handed her the book, told her to read it on her own, and come to me with any questions.  I thought about going through it with her but I took one look at the cartoon drawing of how to insert a T.A.M.P.O.N and about lost my lunch.  You have got to give credit to that American Girl. She really does a good job of handling the whole puberty deal.  So last year, my daughter and I started praying that the Lord postpones the whole P.E.R.I.O.D thing for as long as possible, even post Rapture would be fine with me. So far, so good. I think God knows, I am just not ready yet.

After consulting the internet (you really can GOOGLE anything) about where to find the perfect starter bra, we headed to JCPenny to get measured.  On the way, I kept staring at my daughter’s chest trying to will them away.  Unfortunately, I have no magic powers and only succeeded in making her self-conscious. Luckily, we were blessed with a young sales lady and not an old one because I kept having a flashback to the movie scene from Sixteen Candles where Molly Ringwald gets “measured” by her grandmother.  It took an hour of debating, cringing, laughing, and finally compromising on a Tween version of a sports bra.  After enduring such a momentous occasion, I figured we needed a little ice cream and Judy Blume.

When I was about my daughter's age, I read one of my favorite books of all time, “Are You There God? It’s Me Margaret.”  Judy Blume captured the feelings of fear, insecurity, and wonderment experienced by every young girl during this season of life.  I gifted it to my daughter in the hopes that it would mean as much to her as it had to me. When I tried to hand it over, I kept flipping through it longingly until finally she says, “Mom, do you want to read it first?”  OK! You know, all good parents read their children’s books first to make sure that there is nothing inappropriate. So when we came home, I shut myself in my room, laid on my bed and embraced my inner 12 year old as I slowly read through the pages of an old friend.

Margaret worries about moving to a new house, making friends, boys, buying her first bra, and getting her period.  As I read, I realized I had forgotten a major aspect of this book.  Margret is given a school assignment where she has to research something meaningful.  She decides to research religion. Her mom was raised Christian and her dad Jewish. Their families disapproved of the marriage so Margaret’s parents eloped and abandoned both religions.  Margaret is raised without religion and her parents expect her to choose when she gets older.  Only Margaret has a secret that she doesn’t share with anyone. She already talks to God, everyday about everything: boys, bras, worries, guilt, homework assignments, and wanting to fit in and be like everyone else.

Margaret decides to visit a Jewish temple, a Christian church, and a Catholic mass. The more she looks for God in organized religion, the farther she feels from Him.  Margaret prays, “I’ve been looking for you God. I looked in temple. I looked in church. And today, I looked for you when I wanted to confess. But you weren’t there. I didn’t feel you at all. Not the way I do when I talk to you at night. Why God? Why do I only feel you when I’m alone?”

When I read this, it struck me how we can be like Margaret.  Going through the motions at church but never really encountering God.  We can sit in the pew, sing the songs, put money in the offering basket and put on a religious face but never quite feel God.  Sometimes we can be like Margaret’s grandparents who force people to fit into their “religious” box and turn them away when they don’t.  When all along, the only thing God wants from us is to have the type of relationship He has with Margaret.  Intimate conversations through out the day and in bed talking to him about everything.  No detail of our lives in considered silly or a waste of time to God.  I think if we talked to God like Margaret talked to God, we would never feel alone.

I am so glad I took the time to read this great book again because it reminded me that I am God’s daughter and He cares about all of my crazy thoughts, feelings, dreams, disappointments, struggles.  I pray that when my daughter reads it she sees beyond the humor of bras, periods, and first kisses and sees God’s heart for His daughters. God loves His daughters and wants to share every experience with us.
Jeremiah 33:3  Call on Me, and I will answer you, and show you great and mighty things.
John 16:24 Ask and you will receive, that your joy will be full.
Psalm 116:1 I love the LORD because He hears my voice and my prayer for mercy
1 John 5:14 Now this is the confidence that we have in Him, that if we ask anything according to His will, He hears us.

We all can be confident in God’s love for us and know He wouldn’t miss out on a single moment of our lives for anything.  We can all pray like Margaret, “Are you there God, It’s me, _________.  I know you’re there God. I know you wouldn’t have missed this for anything! Thank you God. Thanks an awful lot….”

Love,
Yolanda

PS: I couldn't help it. I had to post the Sixteen Candles movie clip.  Warning: Only watch first 60 seconds because there is a bad word spoken towards end of clip. SORRY. Too funny to pass up.

Ready for Summer

I’m not feeling well.  I'm tired, weary and have a slight headache. For the last several days, I have felt like coming home and taking a nap.  I can’t even muster up the energy to read a new romance novel. I've resorted to rereading old ones so as not to strain my brain. I've not had the desire to write which you know means I have got something bad.  Every time I attempt to sit at the computer, I get restless and my thoughts are all jumbled and confused. I am distracted by the slightest thing.  It was even my turn to share a devotion at work and I weaseled my way out of it because I am suffering from something so terrible that all my inspiration has drained away.

At first I thought I merely had Spiritual ADD.  You know that debilitating disorder where you are suffering from a deficit of the Holy Spirit because your attention has been distracted by any and all things of the world.  But after careful consideration of all my symptoms, I have determined that I have something worse.  I have caught a dreaded case of Spring Fever aggravated by my Spiritual ADD. Spring Fever is defined in the dictionary as, “a listless, lazy, or restless feeling commonly associated with beginning of Spring.”  I like the Urban Dictionary definition better, “wanting the present to become summer and wanting to be outside verses inside.” I’m not sure how I caught it, but I am going to blame my preschoolers who are exhibiting some of these symptoms when “carpet time” goes too long. They start to wiggle and squirm and look longingly at the playground. I totally feel their pain….

I have been mentally beating myself up about my condition until I did some research today and found that there is science and medical data to backup my Spring Fever. I love when science confirms my craziness. I came across a great article by Andrea Harvey called Combat Spring Fever! (http://dailyblogma.com/business/combat-spring-fever/ ). She lists several suggestions that I intend to put into practice:

1. Just Give In!

 Oh, yeah! Now we're talking. I am going to stop feeling so guilty.  “Why do I feel guilty?” you ask.  Because I have been putting pressure on myself to write, to feel inspired, to try and hear from God before I attempt to write anything. Instead of just spilling my guts on paper and seeing where it leads.  I think some of the most beautiful psalms from King David are those in which he wrote the outpourings of his heart to God.  Ms. Harvey says that if you take breaks you come back “relaxed, re-energized and ready to go.”  So this summer, I am going to relax in God’s love for me. My pastor recently preached a sermon on Romans 7-8 in which I was reminded that God loves me just as I am.  I can’t do anything to try and get extra credit points or earn more love.  I know this intellectually but sometimes my heart forgets.   If I write one post or 10 posts, God loves me the same. God said, “I have loved you with an everlasting love ; I have drawn you with unfailing kindness.” Jeremiah 31:3 (NIV)

2. Go Outdoors!

One of the reasons I feel tired and fatigued is because I'm totally out of shape. I'm starting to feel all of my 43 years. I feel little cricks in my back and I have this weird hip thing going on.  This is completely unacceptable.  Most of us dream of doing great things for God. We want our lives to be useful but because we have not taken care of our bodies, we don’t have the energy to accomplish the tasks God has for us.

Don’t you know that your body is the temple of the Holy Spirit, who lives in you and was given to you by God? You do not belong to yourself, for God bought you with a high price. So you must honor God with your body. 1 Corinthians 6:19-20 (NLT)

That high price was Jesus dying on the cross for me.  The least I could do is take care of my body so that it can be ready to be used by God.  This summer, I intend to go outdoors and be active in God's beautiful creation provided for us. Who needs a gym!

3.  Break up your work day into sections

I love this advice from Ms. Harvey because she says, “Feeling blocked and/or restless? Don’t fight it. Sitting there for hours trying to get things accomplished when you can’t concentrate is going to make the problem worse.”  This totally made sense to me. She recommends taking breaks to clear your head.  I remember when I was in high school doing homework. I would be diligently working, listening to music, and all of a sudden one of my favorite songs would come on and I would literally hop up and start dancing.  Not just a little foot tapping or swaying but full on Dancing With The Stars dancing. Then I would flop back on the couch all sweaty ready to concentrate again.  Try it some time, it works…I graduated second in my class with straight A’s.

4. Spring Cleaning

There is something about removing clutter in your life that is so rejuvenating.  You can literally breath easier.  This summer I am going to concentrate on removing clutter from my office and closet. One of the only reasons my husband keeps me around is because I handle all of the paperwork in our family.  I think he’s afraid to get rid of me because training my replacement would be too much work.  So I am going to work on filing and clearing off my desk.  Only I won’t do it so well that I work myself out of a job.

Also, I am going to declutter my kitchen of processed food. I can’t cook. Not at all.  My idea of cooking dinner involves a box or a frozen item.  My friends can’t believe this, like its some sin against my Mexican culture and cooking should be genetically programmed or something. My husband claims that everything I cook gives him the runs. To quote the great Nacho Libre, “He has had diarrhea” since the wedding.  But no more! I will no longer be loved merely for my office skills.  I am going to conquer my phobia of the kitchen and learn to cook.  Hubby, be afraid, very afraid.  I will keep you posted during the summer of my successes or my hubby’s unfortunate bouts of botulism.  Can you believe I actually found a scripture verse that supports the fact that my husband has to love me even if I fail at cooking:
Proverbs 15:17 Better a meal of herbs with love than a fatted calf with hatred.” 

According to my research, there are two positives to Spring Fever, daydreaming and romance.  I intend to make the most of both. I found a great quote by Bern Williams, “If June could talk, it would probably boast it invented romance.”  I am going to need to play up the romance department in order to make up for the learning curve in my cooking.  Second I am going to embrace my love of daydreaming. According to WebMD, there are some positive benefits to daydreaming such as it helps boost creativity and to achieve goals, helps the body relax, it can help manage conflict and to boost productivity.  Because our mind can get us into trouble, I just have to keep to the Biblical guideline for daydreams which is Philippians 4:8 “Finally, brothers and sisters, whatever is true, whatever is noble whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable - if anything is excellent or praiseworthy - think about such things.”   

So this summer, whether you have to work everyday or you get to be a bum like my husband calls me (I prefer the title “Trophy Wife”), give in to your Spring Fever.  Take time to relax and re-energize.  Declutter your life.  Take time to enjoy your family, to daydream, and finally bring back romance into your relationship.  Romance does not have to be fancy dinners or nights on the town. My most romantic nights include a home cooked meal (prepared by my husband), a good movie and my daughter in bed by 8:00 p.m.  The wisest man in the Bible, King Solomon wrote about Spring romance:
“Winter is past, the rain has stopped; flowers cover the earth, it’s time to sing. The cooing of doves is heard in our land. Fig trees are bearing fruit, while blossoms on grapevines fill the air with perfume. My darling I love you! Let’s go away together.” Song of Solomon 2:11-13  
OK, you don't have to break out in song like some sappy teen musical but you get my drift.

Finally, if you are feeling restless, weary and just spiritually ADD, remember to invite Jesus over this summer. He really just wants to hang out with us and rejuvenate us with His love.   Isaiah 58:11(NLT)  says it best, “The LORD will guide you continually, giving you water when you are dry and restoring your strength. You will be like a well-watered garden like an ever-flowing spring.”
  
Be safe this summer.
Love and Blessings,
Yolanda

Mastering Motherhood - Mother's Day Message

I wrote this devotion last year. I would like to say that I have matured in a year and have mastered motherhood, but alas, NO.  This devotion is dedicated to my mom, who mastered motherhood not because she is perfect but because she loves us perfectly.  Perfect love always requires sacrifice.  My mom lived and breathed the following, “Being a mother means your wants come last and your child’s needs come first.” (author unknown)  She sacrificed daily so her three daughters could aim higher, achieve greater, and recognize true love when we found it. Thank you, MOM! 

I am also dedicating this devotion to my daughter who through no fault of her own is an only child and the recipient of all my “brilliant” ideas and attempts at motherhood. Luckily, the Lord has blessed her with graciousness (a merciful and compassionate nature) beyond her years and a wonderful sense of humor.  Trust me, she needs it.

Mother's Day Tea, May 2006

For the last two weeks I have attempted to write a devotion on motherhood and have failed miserably.  I tried being funny, sharing memories of my own mama.  I tried being serious, looking at all the heroines of the bible and comparing them to today’s modern women - very frightening.  The more I tried, the worse it got. I couldn’t seem to get my thoughts on paper and it finally dawned on me.  I can’t write about what it takes to be a good mom, because I haven’t got a clue.  I am winging it at best. Some women are born wanting to be moms.  They come straight out of the womb thinking, “Wow that was awesome, can’t wait to try that myself.”  Other women, take five pregnancy tests before they’ll believe and then scramble to figure it out on the fly.  Can you guess which one I was?  There is no instruction manual that comes home with the baby from the hospital.  You have to trust that God has equipped you uniquely for the job.

I believe God gives us the gift of motherhood because it helps cure the condition called selfishness.  The dictionary defines selfish as “devoted to or caring only for oneself”.  We are born selfish creatures, it is part of our sinful nature.  Motherhood does not cure us of selfishness but it definitely puts it to the test.  When you bring your baby home, you as mom are the primary caretaker, regardless of how supportive your husband is.  It is the way God made us.  Research shows that “a mother is biologically programmed to give a nurturing response to her newborn’s cries and not to restrain herself.”  Upon hearing her baby cry, the blood flow to a mother’s breast increases, accompanied by a biological urge to pick up and nurse.  Breastfeeding causes a surge in prolactin, a hormone that forms the biological basis of the term mother’s intuition.   Is God awesome or what?   But just because God has prepared us physically for the challenge, we still require additional help for the monumental responsibility entrusted to us to raise a successful human being.

While struggling with this topic I came across a scripture that scared the daylights out of me.  Ezekiel 16:44 says, “As is the mother, so is the daughter”.   Does that mean my daughter is destined to be like me? Do I want her to be like me?  Am I like my mom?

One of my mom’s greatest attributes is her selflessness.  My mom had a rough time in the early part of her marriage. She worked multiple jobs to keep a roof over our head and was the primary disciplinarian in our household.  Her greatest gift to her daughters was her desire and STRICT expectation that we be better off than she was.  She wanted us educated, hard working and with a healthy dose of self-respect.  Her other attribute is her fierce protectiveness.  My mom single handedly got rid of two bullies threatening my sister and I and a mean boyfriend.  I found out years later that while I was out with friends she informed said boyfriend that I was getting married. Good thing I was destined to later meet and marry my husband who my mother whole heartedly approved of.

One of the first times I saw my own fierce mother-bear revealed was when my daughter was in Kindergarten.  You know how girls always struggle in groups of three. Well with these girls, my daughter was always the one left out.  I actually changed schools because it was getting so bad.  Unfortunately one of the girls she was closest to followed us to the new school.  During the first week of school, both girls were new so they were best friends again.  Alas, during week two, the girl started tormenting her again. Now you may think I was overreacting but one of the yard aides told me that is was pretty bad and that my daughter was in tears at lunch every day. OH NO YOU DIDN’T!!!!  I tried to reason with my daughter about the importance of meeting new friends, not to willingly expose herself to ridicule and rejection but she refused to play with any one else.  So here was my solution.  I told her, “I will give you a dollar every day you play with someone new.  I will confirm this with the yard aide at the end of every day.” Well, I am glad to inform you that by the end of the week, she had made $5 and a new friend!  Is this great parenting? I don’t know but it worked.

If you look at some of the moms in the bible, you will find strict protectors of their children.  For example, Moses mom hid and protected him for the first three months of his life from death by the Pharaoh.  She then put him in a basket in the river so that Pharaoh’s daughter could save him and raise him.  She not only protected her son at all costs but she also made the ultimate sacrifice of giving him up for his own good.    

I, like my mom, desire that my daughter be better off than me.  Oh, I don’t care about material possessions, or gifted sports scholarships, or even academic excellence.  Believe me these things have their place.  What I want for my daughter is the following:

I pray that her relationship with Jesus be her own.  I was saved when I was 20 years old so I have that pivotal moment where I claimed Jesus’ salvation and forgiveness, when the realization set in that I was “lost and then found”.  My daughter, on the other hand, has been raised in a Christian home so I have always feared she would take Jesus’ salvation message for granted. That it would be head knowledge but not a heart felt one.  The way I have combated this (and I pray to God that I am doing it right) is by being genuine and honest with her about my own sin nature and struggles. She sees me as a flawed mom, a sinner saved by Grace.  I make sure to apologize to her if I make mistakes and we have meaningful conversations about the fact that being a Christian doesn’t make you perfect just forgiven.

For example, here’s another one of my great parenting moments.  I picked up my daughter from school one day and she asked if I would take her to get her lip waxed.  Ok, she’s in third grade so I gently asked her, “WHY?” Well she immediately burst into tears. It seems some boy in her class made a very mean joke about her having a mustache. Now, I know you all think I had a great Christian moment, about “turn the other cheek” and all that but….sadly no.  My exact words were, “Ok, give me something, every one has a flaw, big nose, buck teeth, something. We’ll make a joke about him so that he stops picking on you.”  Guess what my daughter told me, “Mom, that’s not nice.  I don’t want to be mean too.”  See great teachable lesson.  Only I was the one receiving the lesson not her.  So as we drove straight to the salon, we laughed as she wiped away her tears and I told her how proud I was because in that moment, she was the better Christian.  I ask you, is this great parenting?  I don’t know but it worked.

As moms, I think the hardest part of the job is that we want to protect our children from this world’s hurts and struggles.  We want what is best for them.  As moms, we literally feel our child’s pain and tears.  A lot of times, we focus on Mary’s courage giving birth to her son, Jesus, when everyone around her thought she had cheated on Joseph and was a fornicator.  I think Mary’s greatest challenge was having to stand by that cross and watch her son suffer and die.

I think to be successful moms we have to find the balance between over protectiveness and letting them live their own lives.  It is our job to lay the foundation of their upbringing on Jesus and His word.  We must model for them authentic Christianity.  Showing our children our weakness and struggles, not phony hypocritical Christians who live one thing yet preach another.  If my daughter sees me struggle but also sees me give those struggles to Jesus, she will know what to do when she struggles.  She will also know that Jesus forgives me and will know that He will also forgive her. If we can do this, then at some point we have to let them go.  Our children need to discover their own God given gifts and divine path that God has for them.  Just like Hannah who gave her three year son Samuel to Eli to train for priesthood and said “Now I am giving him to the LORD, and he will belong to the LORD his whole life.” 1 Samuel 1:28 (NLT).  We may have one dream for our children but God has another.  We have to be obedient to God when that time comes and trust that we have done our part and that God will do his.  Because if we try to control their destiny, we will end up like Rebekah.  She became a  frustrated heartbroken mother because she caused hostility between her twin sons.  She tried to force Jacob’s destiny by fooling her husband into giving Jacob Esau’s blessing.  (Genesis 27)

God made every mom unique.  We each have our own gifts and personalities.  I can’t parent like you and you can’t parent like me. I think that’s the way God wants it.  He made me with this incredible wit and dry sense of humor (Ha Ha) and I use it every day in my parenting style.  This wouldn’t work with every child.  But my daughter comes from my body and was given a measure of my genes so she gets me.  Just like your kids get you.  As moms, let’s not compare ourselves to others and definitely don’t listen to the world’s view on motherhood because the world is doing a great job at destroying our children.  Follow your own God given instincts and give yourself a break when you mess up.  Trust me, my mom made some mistakes (just a few, because she reads every one of my devotions), but I still love and respect her.  And as the years go by, I tend to remember the great things with appreciation and wonder and the bad things with loving humor and the wisdom that comes with age where I can see her good intentions behind the mistakes.  I pray that one day my daughter feels the same way about me.  

So this is my prayer this Mother’s Day:
Lord Jesus, forgive me for my mistakes I will make along the way in my parenting.  Give my child sufficient grace to see my good intentions, even if sometimes I stumble through the process. Protect my child from the enemy’s clutches in these last days.  Help me, through your Holy Spirit, to use the gifts you have bestowed upon me, my unique personality and every aspect of my being to be a good role model for my child.  Show me the unique gifts you have blessed my child with so that I can encourage her to use them and grow and mature in the Spirit.  And lastly, fill our home with laughter and love and understanding for one another.
In Jesus name, 
Amen. 

Happy Mother's Day to all you ladies who feel overwhelmed at times with the enormity of the responsibility entrusted to us to raise these precious gifts from God. Cast your cares and burdens on Jesus, the true Master of parenting, who is more than capable of handling them for us. "Praise be to the Lord, to God our Savior, who daily bears our burdens.  Psalm 68:19 (NIV)

Love,
Yolanda

PS: My daughter asked my to link Taylor Swift's song, Never Grow Up because she thought it fit this devotion perfectly.