I always struggle when writing anything that resembles a
parenting devotion because sometimes I think that unless you grew up in a
“Leave It To Beaver” family you don’t have anything of value to share. Also, my own household looks like a crazy
sitcom most days so I consider myself completely unqualified to give advice on
the subject of parenting. So for
Father’s Day this year, I decided it would be safer to write from the
perspective of a daughter who loves her dad and also, as a wife who appreciates
her husband for being my partner-in-crime in this parenting journey.
My dad has always been the quite type. Growing up I remember that he went to work,
toiled in the yard until dark, watched a little TV when we weren't hogging
the channel, and went to bed. There wasn't a lot of conversation. Now looking back as an adult, I feel kind of
bad for him. He was in a household of 4
strong-personality women. Poor guy had
three daughters and I don’t think we took a breath to stop talking. Worse there
was a language barrier. He spoke mostly
Spanish and we spoke mostly English.
But since he has lived in the U.S. since his early teens, he understood
much of what was being said. And now I know that he was listening…a lot.
I
had a huge wake up call when I was about 19 years old. I was just on the verge of becoming a
Christian and I think the Holy Spirit was trying to get me to see outside of my
own selfishness. I had forgotten that it
was my dad’s birthday and Father’s Day because they fall within days of each other. For some reason no one else was home so I
ran out to the corner market and came back with his “gift”. It was a can of Pepsi and his favorite candy
bar. No card. No gift-wrap. I just handed it over in the brown paper bag and
mumbled “Happy Birthday”. Well, my dad
got tears in his eyes and told me in Spanish.
“You know, I love you. I don’t
know how to talk to you because of the language barrier. But I am so proud of you. I take all of your accomplishments to my
work and show them to my coworkers.”
Those words shocked me because I had no idea how much he loved me. I
remember that hard teenage shell I had enclosed around my heart began to
crack. And as I gave him one of my
side-ways-pat-on-the- back hugs, I made a conscious decision that day. I remember thinking, “God help me break down the hard shell around my heart and show me how to love. Help me demonstrate love with
daily hugs, when I walk into the house and when I leave it.” That simple prayer changed my relationship
with my dad forever. The walls came
down and we became not only father and daughter but also the best of
friends. Thank you JESUS!
So
I’m going to keep it short and simple (because according to my husband longer
than three bullet points and he loses interest). What I learned from my own dad is that to earn the “Word’s Greatest D.A.D.” award you just need
to BE three things:
D =
DEPENDABLE
Dependable
is defined as “steady, reliable, and worthy of trust.” When a child is around
someone dependable they feel safe and secure.
My dad raised three girls on approximately $25,000 a year. We always had a roof over our heads, food in
our bellies, and clothes on our back. All three of his daughters graduated
college, obtained good jobs, and found respectable and kind husbands. My dad
may have been quietly in the background but he was always there, a steady
presence in our home.
Why
do you think children always love it when their dads throw them up into the
air, why they will jump into their father’s arms off pool ledges and
unbelievable heights? It is because they have complete trust in their dads to
catch them. My daughter once jumped off
a 20-foot cliff into the water below because her dad had done it first and was
waiting at the bottom to catch her.
1
John 2:5-6
But
whoever keeps his word, in him truly the love of God is perfected.
 |
| Catch me, Daddy! |
A =
ATTENTIVE
Attentive
is defined as watchful, giving care and “expressing affectionate interest
through close observation and gallant gestures.” I love that last part “gallant gestures” because it reminds me of
the chivalrous knights of old. When I
was commuting to college, my dad would change the oil in my car every 3000
miles, without ever being asked. I
should feel guilty for not saying thank you but my dad confessed a few years
later that he used to pay himself a maintenance fee from all the spare tip
money I left in my glove compartment from my waitressing days. But hey, my engine never caught on fire or
stranded me in the middle of the night so that was pretty gallant to me.
In
my own home, “gallant gestures” look like this: My hubby always opens the car
door for my daughter and reminds her that a true gentleman should always do the
same. He takes her to every
father-daughter event at school or church.
He has been her “playmate” since birth, tether-ball challenger, board
game competitor, bike riding partner, and she is his #1 co-pilot. He is even teaching her how to drive his precious Polaris. That is
pretty gallant to me since he won’t let me anywhere near the steering wheel.
Hebrews
13:16 (NLT)
And don’t forget to do good and to share with those
in need. These are the sacrifices that please God.
D =
DEFENDER
Defender
is defined as one who keeps safe, guards, protects and shields. One of my favorite memories of my dad was the
night I was convinced he had Super Hero mind-reading skills. I was going on a first date with this guy I
had met at a club (note to daughter – do not date people from clubs – it always
turns out bad). Anyways, my date picked
me up at my house because my parents always insisted on meeting my dates. Dad takes one look at this guy, shakes his hand, pulls me aside and says, “That
guy’s no good. He has another woman.” WHAT?
Because young girls always know everything and dad’s don’t, I went on a
few dates with Mr. Perfect and guess what, one broken heart later, my dad was
right! So I made sure that when I met
my hubby he passed the Dad Test.
My
hubby is my daughter’s fashion police, which drives her absolutely crazy. But I am really grateful because sometimes
as a woman I can get caught up in fashion trends and I don’t realize how
inappropriate an outfit may look from a male perspective. I remember when our daughter was about 2
years old; my mother-in-law bought her a hot pink, metallic, halter-top bikini.
My hubby took one look at that thing and told his mom, “My daughter is NOT
going to wear that!” Mom looked at her son like he had lost his rocker and
goes, “She’s two years old.” I was cringing thinking, “OK it’s a little flashy
and she’ll look like a mini-pole dancer but it’s a free bathing suit.” But my hubby stood his ground and it was
exchanged for a cute toddler one-piece.
Proverbs
14:26 (GNT)
Reverence for the Lord gives confidence and security to a man and his family.
 |
| Dad playing Super Hero |
So
you see Dads, you are all eligible for the “Worlds Greatest DAD” award. Dependable, Attentive, and Defend is going
to look different in your homes than they do in mine but that doesn't
matter. God made you unique and He has
gifted you with different talents and personalities. You don’t have to be perfect. Actually we would prefer that you
weren't because perfectionists have a way of messing up their kids. Just be you
– the way God made you! You are fearfully and wonderfully made (Psalm 139:14)
and God has entrusted you with His own title of ABBA-Father – Daddy. God will equip you with every tool you will
need to do HIS handiwork all you have to do is ask for HIS Holy Spirit to help
you. Never fear because God promises He
will never leave you alone on the job.
Lastly,
the greatest moment with my dad took place on my wedding day. I had one of those amazing horse drawn
carriages carry me to the wedding aisle. Right before my dad and I climbed in,
he looked at me and said, “No matter what happens in the future you can always
come home.” He hugged me and at that
moment I knew that my dad and the home that he had worked so hard to provide would
always be my refuge. And my dad’s
greatest legacy in that moment was modeling Christ’s love for me.
Psalm 46 (NLT)
God is our refuge and strength, always ready to help in
times of trouble.
Happy Birthday and Father's Day, Dad. I love you very much. May the Lord Bless us with many more years together.
Yolanda
