Marriage - Fight the Good Fight!

A person standing alone can be attacked and defeated, but two can stand back-to-back and conquer. Ecclesiastes 4:12

My husband and I fight like cats and dogs. I think people took bets our first year of marriage on whether we’d survive to celebrate our first anniversary. Well, 20 years later, we're showing them. But what they don’t know is that we have a little secret to surviving the highs and lows of marriage… FEAR!

No, we don’t fear each other. However, we do fear SOMEONE.

I recently read a heartfelt post from a mom that encouraged women to make their men cower once in awhile. It was written in response to a husband found cheating on his wife. While I fully agreed with the underlining message of the post suggesting that we must raise our daughters to be empowered, independent, educated and strong, one aspect of the article made me cringe. Growing up, my sisters and I received wonderful advice from our mom about education, independence and confidence. That advice shaped me into the woman I am today and I’m very grateful. But the suggestion that women needed to breath fire and make their men cower made me cringe a bit. I thought to myself, “I don’t want a husband who cowers and fears me.” That would be emasculating and he would eventually resent me.

The post was written in regards to adultery, so I understood the message the writer was conveying; women should be a force to be reckoned with and, in the same situation, I would probably breath fire. But, as I see the world falling further into darkness and the return of Jesus imminent, my outlook is shifting from the temporal to the eternal. If I’m going to be empowered in the days I have left, I want that power to come from God and not myself. I want my daughter to be confident, strong, empowered but I want her to know that all power worth having comes from God.  And if she and I are going to breath fire, I want it to be Holy Spirit fire. The fire that takes hatred, anger, and selfishness and consumes it in a blaze of God’s glory and leaves in the ashes joy, peace, wisdom, grace, and love.

So back to marriage survival 101…
I truly believe that the only reason my marriage has survived and thrived is because of our FEAR of God. What? The Bible says God is love. Why should we fear Him? Because God says to! The fear of God I’m talking about is reverence, awe, respect, acknowledging WHO HE IS.
Creator
God Almighty
The Great I AM
The First and The Last
Alpha and Omega
The ONE who holds our lives in His hands, our every breath and heart beat
The ONE who counts our tears and knows our every thought before we have them

When we acknowledge how great God is, when we see God for who He is, then we see ourselves clearly for who we are. We become less and He becomes greater. We take ourselves off the throne of our lives and put Him back on the throne where He belongs.

Here is what God says about the kind of fear He expects:

Fear God [revere and worship Him, knowing that He is] and keep His commandments, for this is the whole of man [the full, original purpose of his creation, the object of God’s providence, the root of character, the foundation of all happiness, the adjustment to all inharmonious circumstances and conditions under the sun] and the whole [duty] for every man. Ecclesiastes 12:13 (AMP)

God says the whole duty of men and women is to FEAR Him.

Let all the earth fear the Lord [revere and worship Him]; let all the inhabitants of the world stand in awe of Him.  Psalm 33:8 (AMP)

God takes pleasure in those who fear Him and these are His promises for those who do:

• The Lord takes pleasure in those who fear Him, in those who hope in His steadfast love. (Psalm 147:11)
• The fear of the Lord is the beginning of knowledge and wisdom. (Proverbs 1:7; Psalm 111:10)
• The fear of the Lord is true wisdom; to forsake evil is real understanding. (Job 28:28)
• The fear of the Lord is hatred of evil. (Proverbs 8:13)
• In the fear of the Lord one has strong confidence, and his children will have a refuge. (Proverbs 14:26)
• The fear of the Lord is a fountain of life. (Proverbs 14:27)
• The friendship of the Lord is for those who fear Him, and He makes known to them his covenant. (Psalm 24:14)
• He is merciful to those who fear Him, from generation to generation. (Luke 1:50)
• All who fear the Lord have no lack. (Psalm 34:9)
• The fear of the Lord leads to life, and whoever has it rests satisfied; he will not be visited by harm. (Proverbs 19:23)
• Blessed is that man who fears the Lord, who greatly delights in His commandments! (Psalm 112:1)
• God fulfills the desire of those who fear Him; He hears their cry and saves them. (Psalm 145:19)
• A woman who fears the Lord is to be praised. (Psalm 31:30)
• Blessed is that man who fears the Lord, who walks in His ways! His work, wife, children, and grandchildren will be blessed. (Psalm 128:1-5)
• Our holiness is brought to completion in the fear of the Lord. (2 Corinthians 7:1)
• The reward for humility and fear of the Lord is riches and life. (Proverbs 22:4)

Can you hear God’s heart?

Oh, that they had such a mind as his always, to fear Me and to keep all My commandments, that it might go well with them and with all their descendants forever! Deuteronomy 5:29

As the days grow darker and the signs of the End Times grow stronger, the devil knows his days are numbered. Jesus already won the war, the victory is His, but the devil is still battling and he does not want to go down alone. He is targeting God’s people and one of his favorite targets is marriage. He has declared war on marriage because marriage represents God’s covenant with His Believers. God calls Jesus our Bridegroom and the church His Bride.  The devil hates that! If he can get a foothold into our marriage and destroy it, he knows that he not only destroys our love for one another, he also blemishes our Christian testimony, and the ripple effects of that destruction go beyond your children, parents, grandparents, friends, neighbors, ministry, and so on and so on. And he gloats and rejoices and moves on to the next victim.

Everywhere I look, marriages are being ripped apart. However, even more heartbreaking than our human marriages falling apart are the collapsing marriages between the Bridegroom (Jesus) and the Bride (Christians). Christians are being deceived by the world and tempted into detrimental sin by the enemy’s lies. Because of their lack of knowledge of the Word of God, they are being lead away to their own slaughter by a wolf in sheep’s clothing. Apathy and lukewarm relationships with God are causing them to fall into the arms of adulterers who are offering cheap pleasure instead of everlasting love.

Did you know that when you put your faith in Jesus Christ and ask Him to be your Lord and Savior, He gives you an engagement ring? That engagement ring is the Holy Spirit (Ephesians 1:13-14). That ring is a divine promise and unbreakable seal of possession. You are His bride and He is coming back for you. God has given us the Holy Spirit as a guarantee of the inheritance we will receive in Heaven as brides of Christ and children of God. (2 Corinthians 1:22)

I read a book once that described a warrior who had two men constantly fighting so he had them bound together, back to back. He told them that they would stay that way until they learned to work together. That’s the image that came to mind of my husband and I. We are linked, arm-in-arm, back-to-back, learning to work together, bound by our fear of the Lord and a reverence for His Word. I never want a husband who fears me. I want a husband who fears The Lord!

No marriage is 100% secure. Not even mine. The devil is always roaming searching for his next victim to devour. He’s waiting for a sign of weakness in our marriages to make his strike. My husband and I will probably fight like cats and dogs until one of us dies or preferably we are both Raptured because we have a little problem -he thinks he’s always right and I know that I am. We are always battling our selfish flesh. But the one thing we agree upon is that God comes first. We both know that every blessing we have comes from God’s goodness and grace. The more we love God, the more His Holy Spirit helps us love one another. We want to continue to receive the promises listed above for those who fear Him. We want His protection, wisdom, provision, salvation, and blessings for our daughter. I pray that is always the case, that we fight the good fight until we cross that finish line together.

So BRIDES of Christ (BELIEVERS), are you ready to fight the good fight? Remember who your everlasting Bridegroom is. Put on your armor and pick up the sword of God’s Word and get ready for battle. Pray for your spouse daily, in the authority that’s been given to you as a child of God and in the Name of our Savior, Jesus Christ, that they always have a fear of God. My husband asks me to pray for him every morning and wants me to send him scripture verses via text. I envision my daily prayers for my husband like this: We are standing back to back, and the battle is raging all around us, he’s watching for the enemy on one side and I’m watching for the enemy from the other, our child is sheltered between us. Every time, he leaves the safe zone, he tells me, “Yolanda, watch my back and cover me.” Taking out the sword of God’s Word, my prayers unleash God’s army of angels to cover him throughout his day.

So husbands and wives, if you want to breath fire, if you want to destroy the dragon, then breath the Holy Spirit fire throughout your house, praying and singing in the Spirit. Pray for yourself first, that you always have a fear of God. Secondly, pray for your spouse and children that they are filled with the Holy Spirit, have a righteous fear of the Lord, and that they learn to hide God’s Word in their hearts. Because the Bridegroom is coming soon to take us to the Wedding Feast! Hallelujah! And we want to be found ready and waiting! I don't know about you, but I seriously can’t wait!!!

Love,
Yolanda

PS: I highly recommend the movie, WAR ROOM (2015). It's an amazing film that will inspire and prepare you for the spiritual battle by learning the power of prayer.

The Pesky Fly

Special thank you to my photographer, L.V.

Recently, two things happened that tried to rob me of my time with God. Very annoying!

First, I was about to hear a great message from a pastor, when a lady spilled her coffee a few minutes after he started speaking. Immediately, those of us seated next to her froze in indecision. Should we help her clean up or will that distract the pastor, causing her more embarrassment. As she was crawling around with paper towels, I’m literally sweating for her. I’m trying to keep eye contact with the pastor, appearing to listen so he would not be distracted, and feeling guilty for not helping her cleanup. Suddenly, I have to inwardly sigh thinking, “Seriously, God? Isn’t this just how life goes. We want so badly to give You our full attention and then life just spills all over us.”

Later that same day, during our staff devotions, a pesky fly kept buzzing around while our director was trying to share a message about the Fruits of the Spirit. As much as we tried to pay attention, that pesky fly would not leave us alone. Someone grabbed a fly swatter but it just kept flying out of reach.  I kept thinking, “Let’s just forget the fly already and concentrate on the message.” However, I knew that until that pesky fly was crushed, it would prevent us from relaxing in God’s presence and giving Him our full attention.

And that’s how life goes sometimes. Pesky flies will invade our peace until we get our fly swatter out and crush them. The sole purpose of these pesky flies is to distract us and keep us from God…

Once there was a pesky fly

Who kept buzzing in my space

Though I tried to ignore him

He’d boldly fly right up in my face.

“Lord, I want to hear from You

The words You want to speak

But this pesky fly

Won’t leave me in peace!”

The Lord paused in His message
And looked down at my distress.

“Lord, are You going to crush this pesky fly

Who’s causing me all this stress?”

“No, My Child, you must rid yourself of the fly."

“But why? You could easily smash him with Your mighty fist.”

“Because, My Child, you left the door wide open and invited him into your place.”

Awareness set into my soul.
Contritely I asked, “I’m sorry, Lord. Now, what should I do?”

“My Child, pesky flies can't bother you if remain focused on Me.
I want you to have a love for My Word and consume it daily; that will slam that door shut.

Put on My Spirit every morning; that will repel that pesky fly.

And pray and talk to Me throughout your day; that will crush him in mid flight.”

God leaned in close and whispered into my heart,

“And next time that pesky fly comes flying near your place, get out your spiritual fly swatter because:

Nothing can ever separate you from My love.

And though you may get distracted every now and then, I will always call you back to Myself because you are My Beloved, now and forever.

I have sealed and marked you as My very own. 
My Spirit dwells in you.
And in MY dwelling place, there are no flies allowed!”

So with Bible in one hand and fly swatter in the other, my mind and heart were set free, and God and I continued our conversation.

Job 11:13-20 (MSG)

Reach Out to God

“Still, if you set your heart on God and reach out to him,

If you scrub your hands of sin and refuse to entertain evil in your home,
You’ll be able to face the world unashamed and keep a firm grip on life, guiltless and fearless.
You’ll forget your troubles; they’ll be like old, faded photographs.

Your world will be washed in sunshine, every shadow dispersed by dayspring.
Full of hope, you’ll relax, confident again; you’ll look around, sit back, and take it easy.
Expansive, without a care in the world, you’ll be hunted out by many for your blessing…”

Love,

Yolanda

Which Wolf Will You Feed? - Back to School Teacher Devotion

It’s time to go back to school. Summer flew by, especially since I’ve been preparing myself for a challenging school year. You see, my lead teacher, who I loved working with, is deserting me. OK, she’s not really deserting me. It just feels that way.

She has a good reason for leaving me but I still feel like throwing a preschool tantrum. She was a joy to work with. It was like working with Mary Poppins and Snow White all wrapped in one sweet package, which allowed me to be the occasional dwarf. When I was Dopey, she laughed at my jokes. When I was Sleepy, she surprised me with my favorite caffeine fix. When I was Grumpy, she modeled love and grace, which turned my Grumpy into Happy. I often joked with her that our teaching partnership was like good cop-bad cop. On the rare occasion she took a day off, our more timid preschoolers would cry and have to be convinced to stay with bad-cop. I understood their pain because I felt like crying myself. However, she taught me well so the class would survive until she returned the following day.

Every school year brings new challenges but when you add a major change, such as change in staffing or classroom, the challenges can seem overwhelming.

Recently, I saw the movie, Tomorrowland, which is all about the power of optimism over pessimism. The main character, Casey, has a conversation with her dad who is lamenting the fact that he will be out of a job as a NASA engineer. Casey, ever the optimist, reminds him of the story of the two wolves, “There are two wolves who are always fighting. One is darkness and despair. The other is light and hope. The question is which wolf wins? The answer: The one you feed.” As I sat and watched this brilliant film about hope conquering negativity, I reflected on this coming school year and I asked myself, “Yolanda, which wolf will you feed?”

It would be easy to throw a tantrum, whine, complain, and feed the dark wolf but here is what God says about feeding the dark wolf:

The Spirit and your desires are enemies of each other. They are always fighting each other and keeping you from doing what you feel you should…. People’s desires make them give in to immoral ways, filthy thoughts, and shameful deeds...[they] hate others, and are hard to get along with. People become jealous, angry, and selfish. They not only argue and cause trouble, but they are  envious…No one who does these things will share in the blessings of God’s kingdom. Galatians 5:17-21 (CEV)

When we feed the dark wolf, we allow our flesh to control our thoughts and actions. We are “hard to get along with, angry, selfish,” Our negativity spreads like a virus in your workplace, home, and relationships. That is not what God desires for our lives.

You, however, are not in the flesh but in the Spirit, if in fact the Spirit of God dwells in you. Anyone who does not have the Spirit of Christ does not belong to him. But if Christ is in you, although the body is dead because of sin, the Spirit is life because of righteousness. So don’t you see that we don’t owe this old do-it-yourself life one red cent. There’s nothing in it for us, nothing at all. The best thing to do is give it a decent burial and get on with your new life. God’s Spirit beckons. There are things to do and places to go! Romans 8:9-10 (ESV); Romans 8:12-14 (MSG)

So now that we know the dark wolf has to die, how do we feed the light wolf?

Step 1 - Prayer. Every morning, pray to be filled and renewed by the Holy Spirit.  I've discovered life is impossible without the Spirit of Jesus guiding me. There was a reason why Jesus told the apostles to wait for the baptism of the Holy Spirit before they went anywhere. He knew that they would need His Spirit residing in them to conquer their fears and to empower them for the work of the ministry. Praying in the Spirit has become an essential part of my morning. When I had postpartum depression, I would wake up overwhelmed and distressed every morning. I would look in the mirror and say, "Snap out of it, Yolanda." No matter how much I tried to snap out of it, I did not get better until I received help. When life gets overwhelming we can't power through it in our own strength. We can't will ourselves to snap out of it. Jesus, our Great Physician, wants to give us His Healing Spirit so that we can conquer the stresses that come with life. That is why daily prayer is essential for conquering the dark wolf. 

Be prepared. You’re up against far more than you can handle on your own. Take all the help you can get, every weapon God has issued, so that when it’s all over but the shouting you’ll still be on your feet. Truth, righteousness, peace, faith, and salvation are more than words. Learn how to apply them. You’ll need them throughout your life. God’s Word is an indispensable weapon. In the same way, prayer is essential in this ongoing warfare. Pray hard and long. Pray for your brothers and sisters. Keep your eyes open. Keep each other’s spirits up so that no one falls behind or drops out. Ephesians 6:13-18 (MSG)

Step 2 - Read God’s Word daily, preferable first thing in the morning. God’s Word is food for our soul; better than any cup of coffee for waking us up. God’s love will flow through His pages nourishing our hearts. The more we read and learn about God, the more we’ll crave His Presence. God’s Word is addictive. I never would have believed this if I had not experienced the addiction myself. When I open my Bible, I expect God to speak to me. I have my highlighter ready for that scripture verse that God has prepared just for me.

I love those who love me, and those who seek me early and diligently shall find me. Proverbs 8:18 (AMP)

Step 3 - Consistent church attendance. Some believe this step is debatable. I recently got into a friendly debate on this topic and I'll concede that church attendance is not a salvation issue. However, in my own life, it's a survival issue.  Take for example this morning, a little thing turned into a big thing right before church. I was stressed, anxious, and had a very heavy heart.
I prayed in the Spirit. Step 1 - check.
I opened up my Bible and read my daily reading. Step 2 - check.
However, I still felt burdened. Nothing and no one could have prevented me from going to church today. Step 3. 

There is something powerful, healing, renewing, life-changing about being in God's presence surrounded by people praising and worshiping Him with one voice and one heart. I go to church expecting God to speak to me through the message but also through the lyrics of praise music. God never disappoints me and never fails to show up. A new song, Prince of Peace by Hillsong United, was played this morning and here are some of the lyrics that ministered to my soul:

"You're always there

and You hear my prayer

My soul will know 

Your love surrounds me

When my thoughts rage war

When fear comes knocking

There You'll be my guard

When day breeds trouble

There You'll hold my heart

Come storm or battle

God, I know Your Peace will meet me there

Oh, be still my heart

And my soul will ever know

That You are God

And You heard my prayer."

When I heard those lyrics, it was as if God was giving me a hug saying, "Yolanda, I heard your prayers this morning. Don't stress. I will be your guard. Feel My love surround you."

So, other people may debate whether church attendance is necessary, but for me, it is not debatable because the God of Love and Peace meets me there. 

So this school year, instead of lamenting the loss of working with a sweet light wolf, I'm praying that, through the power of the Holy Spirit, I'm the light wolf that brightens up my classroom and workplace.

Let me ask you, "This school year, which wolf will you feed?"

Dear teachers, aides, directors, principals, students, and parents:
May the God of Peace bless you this year.

Love,
Yolanda

Dedicated to my Mary Poppins and Snow White, Heather.