Ready for Summer

I’m not feeling well.  I'm tired, weary and have a slight headache. For the last several days, I have felt like coming home and taking a nap.  I can’t even muster up the energy to read a new romance novel. I've resorted to rereading old ones so as not to strain my brain. I've not had the desire to write which you know means I have got something bad.  Every time I attempt to sit at the computer, I get restless and my thoughts are all jumbled and confused. I am distracted by the slightest thing.  It was even my turn to share a devotion at work and I weaseled my way out of it because I am suffering from something so terrible that all my inspiration has drained away.

At first I thought I merely had Spiritual ADD.  You know that debilitating disorder where you are suffering from a deficit of the Holy Spirit because your attention has been distracted by any and all things of the world.  But after careful consideration of all my symptoms, I have determined that I have something worse.  I have caught a dreaded case of Spring Fever aggravated by my Spiritual ADD. Spring Fever is defined in the dictionary as, “a listless, lazy, or restless feeling commonly associated with beginning of Spring.”  I like the Urban Dictionary definition better, “wanting the present to become summer and wanting to be outside verses inside.” I’m not sure how I caught it, but I am going to blame my preschoolers who are exhibiting some of these symptoms when “carpet time” goes too long. They start to wiggle and squirm and look longingly at the playground. I totally feel their pain….

I have been mentally beating myself up about my condition until I did some research today and found that there is science and medical data to backup my Spring Fever. I love when science confirms my craziness. I came across a great article by Andrea Harvey called Combat Spring Fever! (http://dailyblogma.com/business/combat-spring-fever/ ). She lists several suggestions that I intend to put into practice:

1. Just Give In!

 Oh, yeah! Now we're talking. I am going to stop feeling so guilty.  “Why do I feel guilty?” you ask.  Because I have been putting pressure on myself to write, to feel inspired, to try and hear from God before I attempt to write anything. Instead of just spilling my guts on paper and seeing where it leads.  I think some of the most beautiful psalms from King David are those in which he wrote the outpourings of his heart to God.  Ms. Harvey says that if you take breaks you come back “relaxed, re-energized and ready to go.”  So this summer, I am going to relax in God’s love for me. My pastor recently preached a sermon on Romans 7-8 in which I was reminded that God loves me just as I am.  I can’t do anything to try and get extra credit points or earn more love.  I know this intellectually but sometimes my heart forgets.   If I write one post or 10 posts, God loves me the same. God said, “I have loved you with an everlasting love ; I have drawn you with unfailing kindness.” Jeremiah 31:3 (NIV)

2. Go Outdoors!

One of the reasons I feel tired and fatigued is because I'm totally out of shape. I'm starting to feel all of my 43 years. I feel little cricks in my back and I have this weird hip thing going on.  This is completely unacceptable.  Most of us dream of doing great things for God. We want our lives to be useful but because we have not taken care of our bodies, we don’t have the energy to accomplish the tasks God has for us.

Don’t you know that your body is the temple of the Holy Spirit, who lives in you and was given to you by God? You do not belong to yourself, for God bought you with a high price. So you must honor God with your body. 1 Corinthians 6:19-20 (NLT)

That high price was Jesus dying on the cross for me.  The least I could do is take care of my body so that it can be ready to be used by God.  This summer, I intend to go outdoors and be active in God's beautiful creation provided for us. Who needs a gym!

3.  Break up your work day into sections

I love this advice from Ms. Harvey because she says, “Feeling blocked and/or restless? Don’t fight it. Sitting there for hours trying to get things accomplished when you can’t concentrate is going to make the problem worse.”  This totally made sense to me. She recommends taking breaks to clear your head.  I remember when I was in high school doing homework. I would be diligently working, listening to music, and all of a sudden one of my favorite songs would come on and I would literally hop up and start dancing.  Not just a little foot tapping or swaying but full on Dancing With The Stars dancing. Then I would flop back on the couch all sweaty ready to concentrate again.  Try it some time, it works…I graduated second in my class with straight A’s.

4. Spring Cleaning

There is something about removing clutter in your life that is so rejuvenating.  You can literally breath easier.  This summer I am going to concentrate on removing clutter from my office and closet. One of the only reasons my husband keeps me around is because I handle all of the paperwork in our family.  I think he’s afraid to get rid of me because training my replacement would be too much work.  So I am going to work on filing and clearing off my desk.  Only I won’t do it so well that I work myself out of a job.

Also, I am going to declutter my kitchen of processed food. I can’t cook. Not at all.  My idea of cooking dinner involves a box or a frozen item.  My friends can’t believe this, like its some sin against my Mexican culture and cooking should be genetically programmed or something. My husband claims that everything I cook gives him the runs. To quote the great Nacho Libre, “He has had diarrhea” since the wedding.  But no more! I will no longer be loved merely for my office skills.  I am going to conquer my phobia of the kitchen and learn to cook.  Hubby, be afraid, very afraid.  I will keep you posted during the summer of my successes or my hubby’s unfortunate bouts of botulism.  Can you believe I actually found a scripture verse that supports the fact that my husband has to love me even if I fail at cooking:
Proverbs 15:17 Better a meal of herbs with love than a fatted calf with hatred.” 

According to my research, there are two positives to Spring Fever, daydreaming and romance.  I intend to make the most of both. I found a great quote by Bern Williams, “If June could talk, it would probably boast it invented romance.”  I am going to need to play up the romance department in order to make up for the learning curve in my cooking.  Second I am going to embrace my love of daydreaming. According to WebMD, there are some positive benefits to daydreaming such as it helps boost creativity and to achieve goals, helps the body relax, it can help manage conflict and to boost productivity.  Because our mind can get us into trouble, I just have to keep to the Biblical guideline for daydreams which is Philippians 4:8 “Finally, brothers and sisters, whatever is true, whatever is noble whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable - if anything is excellent or praiseworthy - think about such things.”   

So this summer, whether you have to work everyday or you get to be a bum like my husband calls me (I prefer the title “Trophy Wife”), give in to your Spring Fever.  Take time to relax and re-energize.  Declutter your life.  Take time to enjoy your family, to daydream, and finally bring back romance into your relationship.  Romance does not have to be fancy dinners or nights on the town. My most romantic nights include a home cooked meal (prepared by my husband), a good movie and my daughter in bed by 8:00 p.m.  The wisest man in the Bible, King Solomon wrote about Spring romance:
“Winter is past, the rain has stopped; flowers cover the earth, it’s time to sing. The cooing of doves is heard in our land. Fig trees are bearing fruit, while blossoms on grapevines fill the air with perfume. My darling I love you! Let’s go away together.” Song of Solomon 2:11-13  
OK, you don't have to break out in song like some sappy teen musical but you get my drift.

Finally, if you are feeling restless, weary and just spiritually ADD, remember to invite Jesus over this summer. He really just wants to hang out with us and rejuvenate us with His love.   Isaiah 58:11(NLT)  says it best, “The LORD will guide you continually, giving you water when you are dry and restoring your strength. You will be like a well-watered garden like an ever-flowing spring.”
  
Be safe this summer.
Love and Blessings,
Yolanda

Mastering Motherhood - Mother's Day Message

I wrote this devotion last year. I would like to say that I have matured in a year and have mastered motherhood, but alas, NO.  This devotion is dedicated to my mom, who mastered motherhood not because she is perfect but because she loves us perfectly.  Perfect love always requires sacrifice.  My mom lived and breathed the following, “Being a mother means your wants come last and your child’s needs come first.” (author unknown)  She sacrificed daily so her three daughters could aim higher, achieve greater, and recognize true love when we found it. Thank you, MOM! 

I am also dedicating this devotion to my daughter who through no fault of her own is an only child and the recipient of all my “brilliant” ideas and attempts at motherhood. Luckily, the Lord has blessed her with graciousness (a merciful and compassionate nature) beyond her years and a wonderful sense of humor.  Trust me, she needs it.

Mother's Day Tea, May 2006

For the last two weeks I have attempted to write a devotion on motherhood and have failed miserably.  I tried being funny, sharing memories of my own mama.  I tried being serious, looking at all the heroines of the bible and comparing them to today’s modern women - very frightening.  The more I tried, the worse it got. I couldn’t seem to get my thoughts on paper and it finally dawned on me.  I can’t write about what it takes to be a good mom, because I haven’t got a clue.  I am winging it at best. Some women are born wanting to be moms.  They come straight out of the womb thinking, “Wow that was awesome, can’t wait to try that myself.”  Other women, take five pregnancy tests before they’ll believe and then scramble to figure it out on the fly.  Can you guess which one I was?  There is no instruction manual that comes home with the baby from the hospital.  You have to trust that God has equipped you uniquely for the job.

I believe God gives us the gift of motherhood because it helps cure the condition called selfishness.  The dictionary defines selfish as “devoted to or caring only for oneself”.  We are born selfish creatures, it is part of our sinful nature.  Motherhood does not cure us of selfishness but it definitely puts it to the test.  When you bring your baby home, you as mom are the primary caretaker, regardless of how supportive your husband is.  It is the way God made us.  Research shows that “a mother is biologically programmed to give a nurturing response to her newborn’s cries and not to restrain herself.”  Upon hearing her baby cry, the blood flow to a mother’s breast increases, accompanied by a biological urge to pick up and nurse.  Breastfeeding causes a surge in prolactin, a hormone that forms the biological basis of the term mother’s intuition.   Is God awesome or what?   But just because God has prepared us physically for the challenge, we still require additional help for the monumental responsibility entrusted to us to raise a successful human being.

While struggling with this topic I came across a scripture that scared the daylights out of me.  Ezekiel 16:44 says, “As is the mother, so is the daughter”.   Does that mean my daughter is destined to be like me? Do I want her to be like me?  Am I like my mom?

One of my mom’s greatest attributes is her selflessness.  My mom had a rough time in the early part of her marriage. She worked multiple jobs to keep a roof over our head and was the primary disciplinarian in our household.  Her greatest gift to her daughters was her desire and STRICT expectation that we be better off than she was.  She wanted us educated, hard working and with a healthy dose of self-respect.  Her other attribute is her fierce protectiveness.  My mom single handedly got rid of two bullies threatening my sister and I and a mean boyfriend.  I found out years later that while I was out with friends she informed said boyfriend that I was getting married. Good thing I was destined to later meet and marry my husband who my mother whole heartedly approved of.

One of the first times I saw my own fierce mother-bear revealed was when my daughter was in Kindergarten.  You know how girls always struggle in groups of three. Well with these girls, my daughter was always the one left out.  I actually changed schools because it was getting so bad.  Unfortunately one of the girls she was closest to followed us to the new school.  During the first week of school, both girls were new so they were best friends again.  Alas, during week two, the girl started tormenting her again. Now you may think I was overreacting but one of the yard aides told me that is was pretty bad and that my daughter was in tears at lunch every day. OH NO YOU DIDN’T!!!!  I tried to reason with my daughter about the importance of meeting new friends, not to willingly expose herself to ridicule and rejection but she refused to play with any one else.  So here was my solution.  I told her, “I will give you a dollar every day you play with someone new.  I will confirm this with the yard aide at the end of every day.” Well, I am glad to inform you that by the end of the week, she had made $5 and a new friend!  Is this great parenting? I don’t know but it worked.

If you look at some of the moms in the bible, you will find strict protectors of their children.  For example, Moses mom hid and protected him for the first three months of his life from death by the Pharaoh.  She then put him in a basket in the river so that Pharaoh’s daughter could save him and raise him.  She not only protected her son at all costs but she also made the ultimate sacrifice of giving him up for his own good.    

I, like my mom, desire that my daughter be better off than me.  Oh, I don’t care about material possessions, or gifted sports scholarships, or even academic excellence.  Believe me these things have their place.  What I want for my daughter is the following:

I pray that her relationship with Jesus be her own.  I was saved when I was 20 years old so I have that pivotal moment where I claimed Jesus’ salvation and forgiveness, when the realization set in that I was “lost and then found”.  My daughter, on the other hand, has been raised in a Christian home so I have always feared she would take Jesus’ salvation message for granted. That it would be head knowledge but not a heart felt one.  The way I have combated this (and I pray to God that I am doing it right) is by being genuine and honest with her about my own sin nature and struggles. She sees me as a flawed mom, a sinner saved by Grace.  I make sure to apologize to her if I make mistakes and we have meaningful conversations about the fact that being a Christian doesn’t make you perfect just forgiven.

For example, here’s another one of my great parenting moments.  I picked up my daughter from school one day and she asked if I would take her to get her lip waxed.  Ok, she’s in third grade so I gently asked her, “WHY?” Well she immediately burst into tears. It seems some boy in her class made a very mean joke about her having a mustache. Now, I know you all think I had a great Christian moment, about “turn the other cheek” and all that but….sadly no.  My exact words were, “Ok, give me something, every one has a flaw, big nose, buck teeth, something. We’ll make a joke about him so that he stops picking on you.”  Guess what my daughter told me, “Mom, that’s not nice.  I don’t want to be mean too.”  See great teachable lesson.  Only I was the one receiving the lesson not her.  So as we drove straight to the salon, we laughed as she wiped away her tears and I told her how proud I was because in that moment, she was the better Christian.  I ask you, is this great parenting?  I don’t know but it worked.

As moms, I think the hardest part of the job is that we want to protect our children from this world’s hurts and struggles.  We want what is best for them.  As moms, we literally feel our child’s pain and tears.  A lot of times, we focus on Mary’s courage giving birth to her son, Jesus, when everyone around her thought she had cheated on Joseph and was a fornicator.  I think Mary’s greatest challenge was having to stand by that cross and watch her son suffer and die.

I think to be successful moms we have to find the balance between over protectiveness and letting them live their own lives.  It is our job to lay the foundation of their upbringing on Jesus and His word.  We must model for them authentic Christianity.  Showing our children our weakness and struggles, not phony hypocritical Christians who live one thing yet preach another.  If my daughter sees me struggle but also sees me give those struggles to Jesus, she will know what to do when she struggles.  She will also know that Jesus forgives me and will know that He will also forgive her. If we can do this, then at some point we have to let them go.  Our children need to discover their own God given gifts and divine path that God has for them.  Just like Hannah who gave her three year son Samuel to Eli to train for priesthood and said “Now I am giving him to the LORD, and he will belong to the LORD his whole life.” 1 Samuel 1:28 (NLT).  We may have one dream for our children but God has another.  We have to be obedient to God when that time comes and trust that we have done our part and that God will do his.  Because if we try to control their destiny, we will end up like Rebekah.  She became a  frustrated heartbroken mother because she caused hostility between her twin sons.  She tried to force Jacob’s destiny by fooling her husband into giving Jacob Esau’s blessing.  (Genesis 27)

God made every mom unique.  We each have our own gifts and personalities.  I can’t parent like you and you can’t parent like me. I think that’s the way God wants it.  He made me with this incredible wit and dry sense of humor (Ha Ha) and I use it every day in my parenting style.  This wouldn’t work with every child.  But my daughter comes from my body and was given a measure of my genes so she gets me.  Just like your kids get you.  As moms, let’s not compare ourselves to others and definitely don’t listen to the world’s view on motherhood because the world is doing a great job at destroying our children.  Follow your own God given instincts and give yourself a break when you mess up.  Trust me, my mom made some mistakes (just a few, because she reads every one of my devotions), but I still love and respect her.  And as the years go by, I tend to remember the great things with appreciation and wonder and the bad things with loving humor and the wisdom that comes with age where I can see her good intentions behind the mistakes.  I pray that one day my daughter feels the same way about me.  

So this is my prayer this Mother’s Day:
Lord Jesus, forgive me for my mistakes I will make along the way in my parenting.  Give my child sufficient grace to see my good intentions, even if sometimes I stumble through the process. Protect my child from the enemy’s clutches in these last days.  Help me, through your Holy Spirit, to use the gifts you have bestowed upon me, my unique personality and every aspect of my being to be a good role model for my child.  Show me the unique gifts you have blessed my child with so that I can encourage her to use them and grow and mature in the Spirit.  And lastly, fill our home with laughter and love and understanding for one another.
In Jesus name, 
Amen. 

Happy Mother's Day to all you ladies who feel overwhelmed at times with the enormity of the responsibility entrusted to us to raise these precious gifts from God. Cast your cares and burdens on Jesus, the true Master of parenting, who is more than capable of handling them for us. "Praise be to the Lord, to God our Savior, who daily bears our burdens.  Psalm 68:19 (NIV)

Love,
Yolanda

PS: My daughter asked my to link Taylor Swift's song, Never Grow Up because she thought it fit this devotion perfectly.