Every Marlin Needs a Dory

Have you ever been swimming through life, so stressed that you can’t stop to take a breath or in such a rut that you're just kind of treading water? Then out of nowhere someone crashes into your life, knocks you off balance, pushes you out of your boring, predicable, safe existence and shakes you up for the better?  Take for example when Marlin meets Dory in the Disney-Pixar movie Finding Nemo.   Dory crashes into Marlin and knocks him out of his restrictive box of fear that imprisons him. She is full of joy, confident and optimistic.  Dory saves Marlin from despair when he loses his son. Her influence makes him bolder, stronger, braver, and eventually a better father and friend. That is pretty much what happened to me, over 20 years ago, on a college campus. 

I remember that first year at college, overwhelmed by my new environment. One day when I was leaving class, with my head down, attempting to not draw attention to myself, suddenly a little Filipino girl comes right into my personal space and goes, “Hi, my name is Joan. You are in almost all my classes and you seem either shy or stuck up.” I think I mumbled something about being shy so she goes, “OK, then let’s go to lunch – YOU drive because I don’t have my license.”   And before I knew it I had a best friend and our new adventure had begun. From that day on, we started swimming in the same direction.  She would push me out of my shell and I would rein her in when we swam too far from shore.

I am very much like Marlin. I like to feel safe. I am not a risk taker. I over analyze everything before attempting it.  I think from my past writings I have mentioned how I can be sadly ruled by paralyzing fear. So what a gift is was when at age 18 I met my Dory.  If you Marlins out there don’t have a Dory in your life you need to pray for one.  My Dory opened up my world to new cultures, adventures and friends. She literally made me travel out of the comfort zone of my safe little rural town into the big city and for that I am grateful.

Soon after we met, I got saved during a weekend bible study.  When I got back to school on Monday there was no question in my mind that Joan would get saved too.  I knew in my heart that I had found a life and soul saving faith and decided what was good for me was good for her.  I did not convince her with inspired, intellectual words of Bible knowledge (frankly, I did not know any), nor had I come back to school in nuns garb ready to join the mission field (I still had plans to go dancing that weekend).  I just knew, that I knew, that I had been saved from an eternity in Hell and there was no way that I was going to let my friend Joan go there.

As I write this post as a tribute to my Dory's birthday, I have realized that is what Jesus meant when He said, “Love your neighbor as yourself.” (Mark 12:31)

You see, a lot of us get saved and we are so grateful that we have escaped Hell and eternal darkness.  We live our lives with an eternal hope and yet we hoard this hope within ourselves.  It is not that we don’t love others. We do. We actually love them so much that we don’t want to loose their respect or affection.  We worry that if we share our faith we risk loosing them here on earth. I have realized that I would rather risk losing them here on earth than risk not having them with me in Heaven for eternity. 

Jesus shared his heart when he commanded us, “I’ve told you these things for a purpose: that my joy might be your joy, and your joy wholly mature. This is my command: Love one another as the way I loved you. This is the best way to love.  Put your life on the line for your friends…. I have named you friends because I’ve let you in on everything I’ve heard from the father.” John 15:12 (MSG)

Now I have always interpreted this phrase "Put your life on the line for your friends” as simply being willing to die for them. But what if it also means sacrificing your pride, reputation, maybe even your “cool” factor.  Maybe, just maybe, the way to reach our friends is as simple as loving them and them loving us.  If we have built a friendship based on trust and genuine affection then they are going to trust that we have their best interests at heart.  But I'll share one bit of advice that I have learned the hard way, don’t be a phony Christian with your friends. 1) They will see right through you and 2) They’ll call you on it and be turned off. Be honest about your struggles with doubt, sin, and faith.  Our Christian walk is a journey filled with valleys, mountains made out of mole-hills, and glorious summits. Let your friends go with you through it all and be willing to go with them on their journey but don’t judge each other.

Because I often need a reminder, I looked up Romans 12:16-19 (MSG) to remind myself how God desires me to SEE and TREAT others: 

Bless your enemies; no cursing under our breath. Laugh with your happy friends when they’re happy; share tears when they’re down. Get along with each other; don’t be stuck-up. Make friends with nobodies; don’t be a great somebody.  Don’t hit back; discover beauty in everyone. If you’ve got it in you, get along with everybody. Don’t insist on getting even; that’s not for you to do. “I’ll do the judging,” says God. “I’ll take care of it.”   

Once saved, my Dory took off swimming – FAST. I struggled to keep up with her.  The awesome thing about Dories is that they are fearless.  She was open to the gifts of the Spirit and has been blessed with a beautiful voice that she has used to praise her Savior.  My walk was more like dog-paddling, slow and steady and I envy (in a good way) her Spiritual gifts.  Her unfailing faith has reached her family and friends because she also understood the necessity of loving her neighbors as herself. 

Today is my Dory’s birthday and I wanted to thank her for crashing into my life.  Although I may not see her as often as I like because I have my own little Nemo to care for, we still love one another and we look forward to an eternity of hanging out, singing and dancing.  As we have grown older, at times our roles have reversed. I would be more like the optimistic Dory and my friend would be struggling with Marlin like fears.  At times we have both been facing a deadly shark or felt swallowed by a whale.  Those are the times we have been able to encourage one another.  That is the beauty of friendships based on God’s saving Grace and unconditional love.  The years can pass, we can live in different cities, our lives can be going through different seasons but that bond that was forged on the Cross has lasted.  After 20 years of being saved, are we perfect? NOPE! But that is what makes us perfect friends.

So I ask you, Christians are you loving your neighbor as you much as you love yourself?  Do you have a Dory or a Marlin that you can’t imagine living eternity without?  Follow this simple instruction, “Let’s not merely say we love each other; let us show the truth by our actions.”  1 John 3:18 (NLT) The emphasis here is in the “truth of our actions”. Be truthful. Share your testimony of salvation.  Your friends may relate more to your weaknesses than you realize.  You have the lifeboat, the branch, the airbag, the safety net, the fire extinguisher, and the healing power of Jesus.  When your friends trust you, it may be as simple as inviting them to church or a college bible study.

I love you, Joan. Happy Birthday.  “Just keep swimming!”    
Love,
Yolanda  

Joan, this songs for you.