Grading Mom on a Curve

Eleven years ago today at exactly 7:59 a.m., I gave birth to my one and only child.  In these last 11 years I have made plenty of mistakes but I have learned plenty too. If I were to give myself a "Mom Grade" I would give myself a B-.  Not too bad considering I dropped her off the couch when she was about 2 days old and last year I crushed her dreams about Santa Clause.  In celebration of her birthday, here are 11 things that I have learned or am learning about parenting a Tween girl:

1.  Your grade goes down considerably if you can't braid hair. Dang that Katniss Everdeen and her cool Hunger Games braid!

B- attempt at Katniss braid.

2.  It is completely ineffective to lecture about drinking water verses soda for maintaining clear skin while drinking a diet coke.

3.  Agreeing to host a Tween Sleepover birthday party, while husband is away at a boys camping trip, raised my grade a little and made up for lack of braiding skill….almost.

4.  Laughing or groaning while having to inspect new growths, weird bumps, rashes, injuries, hair-do experiments is not appreciated.

5.   Never let Dad buy Tween underwear unless you want to wear rejected granny panties.

6. Moms must develop a tough skin because apparently I make some “weird” face while watching her play volleyball that stresses her out. Can I help it if I find her games a little intense? Luckily, I am being graded on a curve so my loud and enthusiastic cheering has balanced out my weird face even though I have lost several points for yelling, “Out” when the ball was “In”.  SORRY!

7.  I have learned a valuable home school lesson.  Yelling while repeating information over and over again is not teaching. Who knew?

8.  My love of writing was not inherited but my complete dislike and inability to clean house was.  Bummer!

9.  Moms must maintain friendships and interests outside of their children because soon you will be uninvited and you must not get your feelings hurt. Daughter: “Mom, you’re not going to go when Hayley takes me to the mall are you?  You can go if you want (sad face).” Or during sleepover, “Mom, you’re not going to be hanging out around my friends and telling weird stories. My response: "What do you think I would rather do, hang out with you girls or hide in my room with a good book and my own movie?” Enough said.

10.  I have discovered two requirements that you need to survive the Tween years without significantly lowering your “Mom Grade”, remember to be honest and laugh!  I am finding at this time that my daughter has a lot of questions and they usually come up at the weirdest times, usually while I’m driving. Take for example the other day, we are driving to volleyball practice and she asked me about boobs. It seems a friend unintentionally made her feel bad while they were changing when she declared, “Boy’s prefer girls with big boobs.” OK, I about died! But I had two choices, freak out and start lecturing or laugh and be honest. So here was my wisdom on boob size. Small boobs are better. It is easier to play sports! Good one. As you age, small boobs sag less. I was able to point to myself as exhibit A which completely grossed her out but made her readily agree.  I guess I could have gone with inner beauty and all that. OOPS! Next time.

11. Finally, I have learned that I still have a lot to learn.  The other day my daughter had to write a paragraph on who is your greatest role model and why?  She couldn't think of anyone which really stressed me out because I figured I am failing as a teacher and a parent. My husband even tried to toss me a bone and asked her, “What about Mom? She’s is helping you with school. Driving you all over town for volleyball?” Her response, “Nah!” My husband knew better then to suggest he be considered as a role model. So guess who she ended up writing about, her BFF that brought up the whole boob fiasco! Oh well, better luck next year.

All joking aside, raising girls is hard! I find myself stressing over everything, even writing this post today.  I worry about her succumbing to peer pressure, having good friends, succeeding in school, injuries in sports, having self-confidence without vanity, being kind and having real faith in Christ.  I must have asked her a hundred times if she was OK with this post because I started stressing about cyber bullying and what if she is running for high school senior president and someone brings up this post and makes fun of her. She just looked at me and said, "Isn't that like 7 years from now? You worry too much! Just relax."  As I write this, it brings tears to my eyes because she is such a blessing to me. Yes, its hard sometimes and I want to bang my head on my keyboard but she is my saving grace. Saving grace can be defined as a character that makes up for someones shortcomings.  Her joy and sweetness bring balance to my life. She makes me strive to be better.

Happy Birthday Baby Girl. I love you. Thank you for bringing laughter and joy into my life. You are my greatest gift from the Lord and not just because you provide the greatest inspiration for my writing.

Love,
Yolanda

PS: I found this great worship song that I am dedicating to my daughter and I because God is not finished with us yet and He'll guide us through these Tween years. I am excited for God's plan and we'll "Wait and See".