REBORN 2 WRITE: Writing my IMPERFECT life to share God's PERFECT Love. For we know how dearly God loves us, because he has given us the Holy Spirit to fill our hearts with his love. Romans 5:5
My hubby is not a reader…unless it’s the maintenance manual
for his precious Polaris or his hunting magazine. But even with the latter, I’m
convinced he’s only looking at the pictures.
Heaven forbid I ask his opinion on one of my blog posts because he suddenly
remembers an emergency that needs his immediate attention in the garage.
So when he got home today and told me he wanted to read me
something, I actually got a little scared.
Could it be a secret love letter from an old girlfriend, bad news from
his doctor, or maybe cut backs at work? As I sit down and prepare myself for the
worst, he reads me this email from a friend:
Of course when hubby read it to me, he changed the word "motorcycle" to "Polaris". I about died laughing because this is SO true in marriage! I don't know how many sleepless nights I've had torturing myself while he's snoring right next to me...probably dreaming about his precious Polaris. Well, no more. Next time, he seems distracted and quiet and tells me nothing is wrong, I'm going to believe him, leave him to his thoughts, and take a nice, long bubble bath.
But wait. Do you think my hubby was trying to tell me something with that email? NAH! He just thought it was funny.
Gotta love marriage!
Love,
Yolanda
PS: I wish I could give credit to the original writer of "Her Diary, His Diary" but I could not find the author's name. So I hope they don't mind that I shared it because it was too funny to resist.
“The beginning of anxiety is the end of faith, and the
beginning of faith is the end of anxiety.” George E. Mueller
On Saturday, I had one of those emotional breakdowns that
make you want to run away from home, hide out at Starbucks until they kick you
out, or just escape to a “happy place”.
Usually my happy place is a fictional story that is playing out in my
head but this time I really envied Elijah who “went up to heaven in whirlwind”
(2 Kings 2:11). Elijah literally
bypassed death and was taken straight to heaven. Since I have always been a
cowardly escape artist when it comes to conflict, this seemed like an easy way
out. But because God doesn't want me to
be a cowardly escape artist, the closest I got to heaven on Saturday was taking
the longest shower in history. As I
stood under the water, letting it wash away my tears, I starting singing softly
to the Lord, “I’m ready Lord. When my time comes, I’m ready.” I could feel
myself giving into the stress and I began to fear I would break out in a
Shingles rash again.
In that moment, I had a choice to make. I could either let my stress conquer me or I
could BREATHE. I remember back in May
when I broke out in a Shingles rash, I went to my ApageHeart Ministry friend,
Jerry, for prayer. He reminded me that
I needed to “breathe in the Spirit”. Not
some “mumbo-jumbo New Aggie” breathing exercise but literally breathing in more
of God’s Holy Spirit. Basically, I like
to think of it as an act of surrender and obedience. It is reminding myself to take the focus off myself and to
redirect my sight on God. I prayed,
“God fill me with more of your Holy Spirit power” while inhaling and prayed,
“Forgive me of my sins and unforgiveness” while exhaling. I must have stood under the water for 10
minutes taking deep breaths and praying.
I remember thinking, “Lord, you say in your Word that if I seek you with
my whole heart, I will find you. I want to feel your love. I want to have your
supernatural peace that surpasses understanding. But even if I don’t feel you
or see you right now, Lord, I am going to believe you love me out of
faith.”
Then I decided to give over my anxiety and stress to God and
I literally changed my tune. I raised my hands to God right in the shower and
started singing one of my favorite old worship songs, For You Are Good:
I cry out for your
hand of mercy to heal me
I am weak I need your
love to free me
Oh Lord, my Rock, my
strength in weakness
Come rescue me, Oh
Lord.
You are my hope, your
promise never fails me
And my desire is
follow you forever.
For you are good
For you are good
For you are good to
me.
I must have sung, “For you are good” over and over again
until the water ran cold and my frozen heart thawed. By the time I walked out
of that shower, I was ready to forgive and be forgiven. No holding grudges, no pity party, no bad
attitude. The entire atmosphere in my
house changed. And the love that I
craved from God came in the form of a hug from my daughter and a kiss from my
hubby. The words I craved from the Lord
came to me in the lyrics of the worship song, Love Came Down, sang at
church on Sunday:
If my heart is overwhelmed and I cannot hear
Your voice
If the storms of life they come and the road
ahead gets steep
I will lift these hands in faith, I will believe
I remind myself of all that You've done
And the life I have because of Your Son
Love came down and rescued me
Love came down and set me free
Now I am Yours, I am forever Yours
Mountain high or valley low
I sing out and remind my soul
I am Yours, I am forever Yours
When my heart is filled with hope, every
promise comes my way
When I feel Your hands of grace rest upon me
Staying desperate for You God, staying humbled
at Your feet
I will lift these hands and praise, I will believe
I am Yours, I am Yours
All my days I am Yours
As Christians, we are never promised an easy road in this
life. We are only promised that when the road get tough, God will never leave
us or forsake us. I shared this
“not-so-attractive” story about myself to encourage you. When you feel like running away, hiding at
Starbucks, or escaping down the path that seems easier, remember to Breathe, to
Pray, and receive God’s Love.
Even if we don’t see it manifested immediately the way we want it to be,
God reveals His love for us, through the Spirit, in ways that will amaze us. It
could be through a quote at church that speaks to your circumstance, a worship song that speaks to your heart, a hug that comforts, or a kiss that expresses forgiveness.
Love,
Yolanda
Jeremiah 29:13 If you look for me whole heartedly, you
will find me.
Lamentations 3:25 The Lord is good to those who depend on
him, to those who search for him.
James 4:8 Come close to God and God will come close to
you.
Psalm 9:10 Those who know your name trust in you, for
you O LORD, do not abandon those who
search for you.
1
Kings 8:23 …and he prayed, “OLord, God of Israel,
there is no God like you in all of heaven above or on the earth below. You keep
your covenant and show unfailing love to all who walk before you in
wholehearted devotion.”
