Jesus' Holy Hug - Testimony P2

Have you heard the story of the young boy who had a nightmare and called out for his dad?  Dad tried to comfort his son by telling him that Jesus loved him and would never leave him but when dad tried to leave the room the son called out, “Dad stay. I know that Jesus loves me but right now I need someone with skin.”  I have always related to that young boy because even though I know logically in my mind that God loves me and I can quote you scriptures telling me that that is true I have desperately longed to feel Jesus’ love in a tangible way. I have prayed to feel His loving embrace.  Today, I want to shout from the mountaintops that I got my divine Holy Hug.

You see, I scheduled a divine appointment with God for Thursday, December 27^th at 1:00 p.m. My friend Tammy had arranged for me to meet with the ministry leader of AgapeHeart Ministries, Jerry, who God has blessed with the gifts of intercessory prayer and healing through the power of the Holy Spirit.  Three years ago, Tammy prayed with Jerry and had a powerful experience.  That day in October 2009, Tammy felt like the Lord had given her a message for me and she wanted me to go pray with Jerry. Unfortunately, I was not ready or willing to receive the message. (See Testimony P1)

Now, three years later, I was ready and excited to go.  I kept my expectations low knowing my past history on expecting big signs and wonders and being disappointed.  So I prepared myself for just meeting a great ministry leader and getting some prayer and direction for my writing.  The Sunday before my appointment, I prepared my heart by confessing any and all sins that may hinder me hearing from God and I asked Jesus to cover me with His blood so that I could come before God under Jesus’ righteousness.      

   

When I showed up, I was blessed to meet Jerry who is so filled with God’s love that it just exudes from him.  He encouraged me with scripture and wisdom on God’s love and reassured me that God loves me and wants to use me in spite of my shortcomings and weaknesses.  As you know from my past writings, I struggle with doubt and feelings of unworthiness in sharing God’s word because I know my daily battle with my sin nature and that sometimes that sin nature wins over my good intentions.  Jerry prayed over me and baptized me in the power of the Holy Spirit. Now before you guys get all weird on me, baptism of the Holy Spirit is completely biblical.  Just look in the first two chapters of The Book of Acts.     

Acts 1 (NLT) The Promise of the Holy Spirit

³ During the forty days after his crucifixion, he appeared to the apostles from time to time, and he proved to them in many ways that he was actually alive. And he talked to them about the Kingdom of God.

⁴ Once when he was eating with them, he commanded them, “Do not leave Jerusalem until the Father sends you the gift he promised, as I told you before. ⁵ John baptized with water, but in just a few days you will be baptized with the Holy Spirit.”

 ⁸ But you will receive power when the Holy Spirit comes upon you. And you will be my witnesses, telling people about me everywhere—in Jerusalem, throughout Judea, in Samaria, and to the ends of the earth.”

Acts 2: 1-4

On the day of Pentecost all the believers were meeting together in one place.  Suddenly, there was a sound from heaven like the roaring of a mighty windstorm, and it filled the house where they were sitting. Then, what looked like flames or tongues of fire appeared and settled on each of them.  And everyone present was filled with the Holy Spirit…

After we prayed, I really didn't feel any different.  I was not disappointed like I usually am when I have my expectations too high.  I figured that I would just accept the gift on faith and I felt at peace and content.  Right before Tammy and I were about to leave, a young man drove up for prayer.  Jerry proceeded to inform him that Tammy and I had just been powerfully filled with the Spirit and that I was going to pray for him. WHAT? ME?  UUHHHH? I DON”T EVEN KNOW WHAT I’M DOING? I PRAY TERRIBLE OUT LOUD.  NOOOOOOO!!! OKAY, LORD, IT’S NOW OR NEVER. HELP!

To be honest, I cannot remember a single word I prayed, because I got about two sentences out before I started sobbing and getting boogers on this poor guy's jacket.  Jerry suggested I lay my hand on this young man’s heart and back and reassured me that it did not matter what I said because it was not going to me touching this man’s life but the Holy Spirit flowing through me.  This was to be a baptism of the Holy Spirit’s love and healing.  When my ugly cry finally subsided, Jerry shared with us about the power in a Spiritual Hug from God and that through the Holy Spirit you can actually experience God’s loving embrace in a what I am fondly calling a “Holy Hug”.  Now, I’ll tell you, I consider myself a non-hugger.  My own mother calls me a cold fish; I like my personal space, and have perfected the non-committal side-ways hug. So, you can image for me to be comfortable hugging someone, the Holy Spirit was definitely working in me.  Those that know me personally or have read my posts, you KNOW this does not happen to me.  I over analyze everything to death. I’m a proof seeker. I am a doubting Thomas. But when I embraced Jerry, it was absolutely the most amazing feeling that I have ever experienced. There really are no words sufficient or appropriate enough to describe it.  All I can really say is that I felt God’s love for me. I felt like I was literally embraced by Jesus.  I was overwhelmed, almost flooded in His love. Next, I turned and gave a Holy Hug to this young man and again the boogers and sobbing but it felt powerful.  When I had regained a little of my composure, this young man asked me, “What is your name?”  I told him my name and He said, “Yolanda, God wants you to know that He is proud of you.  Most people have to wait until Heaven to hear those words but you needed to hear them today.”  To say I lost it would be an understatement. I can’t even think or write about that moment without tears coming to my eyes.  I knew that I went expecting to meet God that day but I wasn't sure what I wanted to hear from Him.  God knows our hearts better than we do. He knows that even though I write for Him out of faith I needed to know that He approved, that He knows that I still struggle with sin and my human nature and that He is OK with me writing about His grace and love.  When I think about the fact that He knows all the thoughts that go through my mind, the angry words I think and say, or my selfish acts and HE still said He was proud of me, I am overwhelmed.

I struggled with whether or not to share this experience because it was a very personal moment.  But you know how God had the Israelites build monuments after miracles so that they wouldn't forget. Also, so their children could look upon these monuments and be reminded of God’s goodness. This post is my monument.  So in the future when I fear and doubt or when I feel unworthy or unlovable, I will reread this post and I will remember that God loves me, He has a plan for my life, and that nothing can ever separate me from the love of Christ not even me.

Joshua 4:21-24 (NLT)

²¹ Then Joshua said to the Israelites, “In the future your children will ask, ‘What do these stones mean?’ ²² Then you can tell them, ‘This is where the Israelites crossed the Jordan on dry ground.’ ²³ For the Lord your God dried up the river right before your eyes, and he kept it dry until you were all across, just as he did at the Red Sea when he dried it up until we had all crossed over. ²⁴ He did this so all the nations of the earth might know that the Lord’s hand is powerful, and so you might fear the Lord your God forever.”

I don’t have this whole baptism of the Holy Spirit thing figured out. Not even close. This year, I am going to start working on figuring it out.  But I am not going to stress if it takes me longer than a year. I need to forgive myself if I make some mistakes in my writing. Some of my writing is going to be inspired and some is just going to be my crazy life.  But God still loves me and that is what I am going to concentrate on. So many other great things happened on December 27^th but I can’t write them all down because it would take too long, some things are just for me, and some memories are fading but the full impact of that day remains in my heart.  Just like the apostle John wrote:

John 21:25 (NLT)

Jesus also did many other things. If they were all written down, I suppose the whole world could not contain the books that would be written.

You’ll just have to take my word for it that it was awesomeJ

Jerry shared this scripture with me and I am going to hide it in my heart:

Romans 5:5 (NLT)

For we know how dearly God loves us, because he has given us the Holy Spirit to fill our hearts with his love.

When we are filled with God’s love it will naturally overflow our human hearts and it will impact others for His kingdom’s sake.  It will not be anything special we do. It will be God loving others through us.  Just like the heroes of the Old and New Testament were ordinary men, just like Jerry is an ordinary man, and just like I am an ordinary woman, it is God working through us, through the Holy Spirit, who will do extraordinary things in our lives if we allow Him to.  We just have to not let fear of failure, ridicule, and rejection prevent us from stepping out in faith. 

Matthew 19:26(CEB)

Jesus looked at them carefully and said, “It’s impossible for human beings. But all things are possible for God.”

So my prayer for 2013 is that I don't let fear hold me back because God's perfect love casts out all fear (1 John 4:18) and that I am so filled with the Holy Spirit that even if the old “cold-fish, side ways hugger” in me tries the make an appearance, the new “Holy Hugger” in me will knock her down in the race to reach you first.

I'm praying for you too. If you are reading this post and wondering if you could have a Holy Hug, just reach up to your Heavenly Father right where you are. He is telling you today that He loves you with an everlasting love. He wants you to know that nothing you have done or could do, could ever separate you from His love. He rejoices and delights over you. He calls you His own. Ask Him today to fill you with an extra measure of His love through the power of His Holy Spirit because it is through His Spirit that He fills our hearts with his love. Than hug someone today and see how God gives you His hug back. 

Love,

Yolanda

Please be sure to check out the AgapeHeart Minitries website for inspiring devotions and for more information about Jerry's prayer and healing ministry.  AgapeHeart Ministries