God's Calling. Are You Ready? - Testimony P1

This devotion is dedicated to my mentor and friend, Tammy.  I wrote this devotion back in October for my co-workers but I let fear and doubt prevent me from posting it on my blog. It felt too revealing but now I know it's time to share it. It is going to lay the foundation for my next few posts because it is part 1 of my Reborn2Write testimony.  

OCTOBER DEVOTION

Today for my devotion, I was going to cheat and tweak one of my old ones on friendship. I was going to use humor and fluff, which is always easy and safe.  But last night, after I already had my safe devotion prepared, my friend shared this image on Facebook and it inspired me to scrape my safe devotion and write the following:

I felt God wanted me to share how He’s been working in my life these last few years.  If you read my profile you’ll see I started this blog in January 2012 to share my writing.  What most of you don’t know is what it took to get me started on this journey.  A few years ago, I was spiritually stagnating. I was in a really bad place, totally focused on the world.  I was distracted at church and was literally going through the spiritual motions.  I don’t know if any of you have ever been there but it is pretty scary. I knew I was spiritually dying but I couldn't seem to find my way back.  Back in October 2009, while sitting at home, watching my favorite movie, a friend stopped by unexpectedly.  I quickly turned off the TV and I noticed she appeared nervous. Poor Tammy had just received a message from the LORD for me and was pretty much compelled to give it to me.  I say poor Tammy because at the time I wasn't the nice, warm, friendly lady who writes funny posts.  I recall the message was something like, “God wants to do something powerful in your life. He wants to use you.” I’d like to say, I received the message with open arms but NO.  I didn't exactly slam the door in her face but I pretty much slammed it in God’s face.  I was not ready to receive the message. 

But thank God Tammy stepped out in faith. She risked rejection and embarrassment.  For what? To challenge me! To inspire me!  She heard God’s call on my life and knew I was NOT living the best version of myself. 

Soon after, I started writing.  I would start writing my Christmas letter or a personal reflection for my family and then I would get this crazy need to include scripture. Or I would start out writing something totally secular and then it would just slant towards an inspirational message. I couldn't seem to help myself.  Basically, God was using my love of writing to get me back into the Word. I was required to research a scripture so then I was forced to open my Bible.  I would go see a secular movie and I would literally get this impulse to start writing.  As I slowly got back on spiritual track, I was drawn to Tammy again.  I think I had been trying to avoid her because I couldn't be fake around her.  It was as if I knew God had given her spiritual eyes to see right through to my heart. 

God had called her to help me, out of love not judgment.  She started sharing and texting me scripture. Her family was faithfully praying for me.  She kept encouraging me to start a blog and to spread my spiritual wings. I was scared though because writing is very personal.  You are exposing yourself, your faults, your weaknesses. Also, you open yourself up to criticism.  When I decided to take the plunge, I called Tammy and asked her if she would help me set up a blog.  Her response was immediate, “I’ll be right over!”  When we got to the name, Tammy says, “The name is really important. This defines you. This tells the world what you want to share.” Yikes! I panicked.  But she’s so good at keeping me grounded. She says, “Pray about it. Let’s stop. God will give you the name.”  So I prayed and a few days later I called Tammy to get her opinion on the name, “Reborn2Write”. It felt right because I felt like God had reached down into my dying life and rekindled my love for Him through my writing. I felt reborn.  Tammy shared a word she had received from the Holy Spirit about my blog. She said, “Growing into dependence” was somehow connected to my writing.  It took me a few months to figure out the connection but late one night I text Tammy because it just hit me.  If I try and write without depending on God, I struggle with writer’s block and my writing is flat, dead.  But if I completely give my writing over to God and pray for his inspiration and guidance it flows.  Now, I literally have to put on headphones with praise music in order to write.   

But friends, Tammy was just a vessel used by God to speak into my life.  How many of us have also been given a message for a friend or even a stranger and had the faith to listen and follow through? We never know how we could be literally saving someone’s life or soul.  Now you readers know me.  I am FAR, FAR, FAR from being a spiritually perfect Christian.  I struggle with all kinds of sin.  And I often fill my brain with worldly stuff and I get distracted from writing but I no longer hide from friends like Tammy that will lovingly hold me accountable nor do I try to run away from God’s calling in my life.  I was looking for a scripture to go along with this message and I found one that scared me in a good way.

Luke 9:62  Anyone who lets himself be distracted from the work I have planned for him is not fit for the Kingdom of God.” 

I know that God has given me a love of writing for His kingdoms sake.  There are a million other writers more talented but I know I am supposed to use this gift because I feel compelled to do it.  I feel alive and joyous when I am writing in flow with the Holy Spirit. I sadly admit to you that I am still lazy when it comes to reading God’s Word and I am ashamed to admit that I neglect my prayer life, even though I know there is great power and comfort in both.  But I have learned my lesson about allowing myself to slip too far away, so when I feel myself becoming distracted and slipping, I plug in my headphones, listen to worship music, and wait for HIS inspiration.

I decided to share this with you now because on December 27, 2012, God confirmed Tammy's message she received for me three years ago in a powerful way. (read Jesus' Holy Hug - Testimony P2) I have to say that without a doubt that day was one of the best days if not the best day of my life. God called me three years ago but I wasn't ready to listen.  The great thing about God is that He doesn't give up on us.  He has a plan for us and He is so patient, gracious and loving that He will wait for us.  I share this to encourage you that if you feel lost and like you are wandering in the desert, stop and listen, because God is calling you. It may be a friend that stops by unexpectedly, it may be something you read on Facebook, maybe a dream, God knows exactly what it is that your heart needs to hear his voice. 

So this is my new year's challenge to myself:

2 Peter 1:3-9 (NLT) Growing in Faith

By His divine power, God has given us everything we need for living a godly life.  We have received all of this by coming to know Him, the one who called us to Himself by means of his marvelous glory and excellence.  And because of His glory and excellence, He has given us great and precious promises.  These are the promises that enable you to share His divine nature and escape the world’s corruption caused by human desires.  In view of all this, make every effort to respond to God’s promises. Supplement your faith with a generous provision of moral excellence, and moral excellence with knowledge, and knowledge with self-control, and self-control with patient endurance, and patient endurance with godliness, and godliness with brotherly affection, and brotherly affection with love for everyone.  The more you grow like this, the more productive and useful you will be in you knowledge of our Lord Jesus Christ.  But those who fail to develop in this ware are shortsighted or blind, forgetting that they have been cleansed from their old sins.

I don’t know about you but I don’t want to be shortsighted or blind.   God wants to use us if we will just take those baby steps of faith.  You don’t have to change yourself into something you’re not.  God wants to use us just as we are.  If we are open our hearts to HIM, He will work in our lives to prune the areas that need pruning and He will sprout blossoms of fruit for His Glory. 

Hebrews 13:20-21 (GNT)

God has raised from death our Lord Jesus, who is the Great Shepherd of the sheep as the result of His blood, by which the eternal covenant is sealed. May the God of peace provide you with every good thing you need in order to do His will, and may He, through Jesus Christ, do in us what pleases him. And to Christ be the glory forever and ever! Amen.

So WHO are you called to inspire?

Who needs you to LOVINGLY challenge them to hear God’s call on their lives?

Who are you supposed to help be the best version of what God has called them to be?

Think about it.

Love,

Yolanda