Did I really just pray for a Whale instead of a Shade Tree?

Last weekend I went to a women’s retreat and was so excited because I just knew I was going to hear from God.  You see, I had studied the 4 Keys to Hearing God’s voice that I told you about in my last devotion and I was prepared to quiet myself down so I could hear all that God had in store for me.  I have also matured since my last retreat, so during the scheduled “quiet time” when we are supposed to read our bible and pray, I was actually going to obey instead of my normal routine of sneaking back to my room to take a nap.

I had high expectations because the theme was Jonah and the whale.  I was expecting a “whale” of an experience, something large and over the top.  Most of you have probably heard the story of the disobedient prophet, Jonah. How he ran from God’s command to go to the city of Ninevah and ended up in the belly of a whale.  Well, unlike Jonah, I wanted to hear my mission from God. The Bible says in Jonah 1:1 that the word of the LORD came to Jonah and said, “ARISE, go to Ninevah…”  I figured this time if I followed all four keys I would hear something like, “ARISE, Yolanda and go to…..” OK, I didn't know exactly where I expected God to send me but I figured He’d tell me at the retreat.

So when I showed up on Friday, I put on my “listening ears” and I kept my eyes open for any and all messages from God.  Every lady received a gift on their pillow upon arrival.  It was a message bottle that had a scripture verse. Each verse had been prayed over and laid on every pillow in faith. My scripture verse was 1 Kings 8:56 (NLT) “Praise the LORD who has given rest to his people Israel, just as he promised. Not one word has failed of all the wonderful promises he gave through his servant Moses.” OK, I know this is going to sound terrible but I read this and was disappointed. I was like, “WHAT, this doesn't have anything to do with me…figures. I should have picked another bed.”

I shook off any disappointment and headed to the first session of the night.  We learned all about Jonah running from God.  Even though Jonah was disobedient, God loved him enough to get his attention in a mighty way.  Did I get my “whale” of a message Friday? Nope.  OK, all is not lost. I still had Saturday.  I chose the seminar,“Hearing the Voice of God”.  I figured how could I not hear His voice in this seminar. You know what the speaker said? “Every time you read God’s word, He is speaking to you.”  I know, I know…but what about “ARISE, Yolanda.” How do I hear that?  OK, all is not lost. We still have our scheduled one hour “quiet time”.  I booted my best friend from my presence telling her, “I have to concentrate.” She graciously understood.  I quieted myself down, plugged my ears to close out any distractions, focused my eyes on Jesus, and listened for those spontaneous thoughts.  You guys know me so well.  You guessed it, nothing.  So I figured,  I would just start writing in my journal and the inspiration from God would come. Only my journal reads, “Lord, how do I hear your voice? I have quieted myself down and I still don't hear you. PLEASE talk to me.”  Sadly, more begging and pleading continued. Finally, I got tired and decided I should at least pray for my friends at home and I looked up some scriptures for them. At least, I could encourage them with a quick text from my phone.

I shook off my disappointment and hoped that the Saturday evening service would be my divine appointment with God.  During this service,  people will get visions from the Holy Spirit to comfort and encourage, others will get a scripture verse that is divinely intended for a specific person.  I was so excited figuring this is IT.   Every Bible verse someone read, I was asking, “Is that for me Lord?" Nope. Every vision or image someone received, I asked, “Is that me God?" Nope.  I went as far as trying to send telepathic messages to the leader hoping she would intervene on my behalf but all I ended up getting was a headache from concentrating too hard.

Back in my cabin, I tried to buck up and put on a good show for my roommates but I have to admit inside I was pretty disappointed and discouraged.  One of my roommates asked me, “What did you want to hear from God?” I searched my heart and admitted that I wanted confirmation on my writing. Am I doing God’s will with it? She asked me a very simple question, “Are you getting positive feedback? Are people saying they are being encouraged?”  “Well, yeah, I think so,” I answered.  “That is God’s confirmation for you. If you are bearing fruit, it is God’s will.”  WOW! Could it really be that simple?  Could God really speak to me through this very nice lady sharing my cabin? What about my whale? This sentiment was later confirmed by my best friend reminding me that I am kind of a scardy cat and that a booming voice would probably freak me out.  Isn't it nice when good friends know us so well?

By Sunday morning my heart felt a little lighter.  I was no longer straining my brain or ears. We learned in the last chapter of Jonah how even when he had a bad attitude, God provided a nice tree to shade him from the scorching sun.  God provided this blessing, not because Jonah deserved it, but because God is merciful and loves and cares for us even when we don’t deserve it.   I started reevaluating my weekend, looking at all the blessings as my shade tree from God. God had provided sunny weather knowing I am afraid to drive in the snow.  I was blessed beyond measure to reconnect with my best friend from college and I laughed more than I have in a long time.  I was encouraged by Godly and inspiring women as roommates.  I met and prayed with some beautiful sisters who I immediately felt a kinship and friendship with.

So I decided to have a second look at the scripture verse given to me (1 Kings 8:56).   I had over looked this scripture because I figured I didn't need rest, I needed action.  I looked up the Biblical  definition of "rest" and discovered it can mean to desist or cease movement or action in order to regain strength.  To lean on God and not yourself.  I finally realized that this scripture verse was divinely given to me because I need to R.E.S.T in God and to stop trying to control or mold God to my expectations.  So I have come up with an acronym to help stop my crazy attempts of putting God in a box of my making:  
R = Release my need for control
E = Do no limit God with my preconceived Expectations
S  = Stop Striving in my own Strength and Surrender my will for God’s will and timing
T = Trust that God always fulfills His promises and always knows what is best for me

“My thoughts are nothing like your thoughts,” says the LORD.  “And my ways are far beyond anything you could imagine.  For just as the heavens are higher than the earth, so my ways are higher than your ways and my thoughts higher than your thoughts.” Isaiah 55: 8-9 (NLT)   

Finally, when it comes to hearing God’s voice, I have to remember that it is as simple as reading His  word.  I am always grasping for what appears to be easy and fast. Just like my attempts at dieting. If a magic pill is advertised, I want it.  But I have learned that successful weight loss only happens through hard work and cutting calories. The same applies to maturing in my relationship with God.  First, I have to continue to cut out the sin in my life that hinders my growth and second I have to dedicate myself to His word.  The Bible is inspired by God and full of living power. (2 Timothy 3:16 and Hebrews 4:12).   In John 14:23, Jesus is telling me, “Yolanda, if you love me, you will keep my word, and my Father will love you, and We will come and make Our home in you.”  How awesome is that!   I am not giving up on the 4 Keys to Hearing God’s voice because I seem to recall now that the author, Mark Virkler, dedicated a full year to learning these keys, not ONE week.  Oops, sorry LORD.  Nor am I giving up hope for divinely inspired dreams because God promises that if we are faithful in the little things, He will entrust us with greater responsibilities (Mathew 25:21).  So last night I am pleased to report that I had a dream that my brother-in-law was making my husband’s lunch.  I was so excited about having a dream that I shared it with my husband and asked him what do you think it means?  He said, “Get out of bed and make my lunch!”  Next time I won't share unless I know it’s from God and since God promises prophetic dreams to the old, I still have time to get it right! (Acts 2:17)

Love,
Yolanda

PS: My favorite thing about working with preschoolers is listening to their stories. Nobody tells a story better than a preschooler. If you are not familiar with the Biblical account of Jonah and the Whale, watch this YouTube video of an adorable little girl telling the tale.