Bicycle Ride From Hell

Before you get all offended because I used a bad word, Hell is a real place and a legitimate Christian term because it’s in the Bible.  Also, I seriously thought I was there today because my butt was on fire.  It all started with my husband telling me he was taking my daughter to the beach on Saturday to ride bikes.  They have started riding on the weekends while I enjoy “me“ time: shopping, getting a pedicure or reading a good book.  Why I had the crazy idea to join them instead of continuing my “me” time is beyond me.  I think I was all pumped from my New Year’s Resolution devotion and my “20 seconds of courage” mantra that I lost my head.

You see anytime I get pumped about starting a new physical activity, I tend to forget that I am out of shape.  I envisioned cruising on my bike with my hair blowing in the wind.  So off I went to Walmart to buy my new Beach Cruiser.  Knowing my tendency to let exercise equipment collect dust, I went cheap.  My only requirement being a wide seat! I figured the beach is pretty flat so who needs gears. And how is my hair supposed to blow in the wind with a helmet? So I am all set.  I’ve got on my new Sketchers Shape-ups and I’ve taken two Bayer Aspirin, just in case I over-estimated my hearts participation in this endeavor.

It started out well until we started heading into the street instead of the sidewalk.  According to my husband, pros use bike paths and sissies ride on the sidewalk.  I immediately start regretting my “no helmet” decision.  As we start peddling farther from the beach, my legs begin to burn, and I start regretting the “no gears” decision.  In a panic, I get flashbacks of all the past physical activities I have attempted with my husband. You see, my husband is kind of a work-out drill sergeant, otherwise known as Beelzebub.  Suddenly, this little beach cruise has turned into an 8 mile ride to Hell. There’s a reason my husband’s body has improved with age while mine has not.

Oh, and did I mention that I neglected to tighten my seat, so about 15 minutes into the ride my “comfy seat” started to rock backwards forcing my nether regions to ride the narrow torturous part of the seat.  You know that expression “feel the burn”, oh I felt it in areas I didn’t even know I had.  Do you think my husband would carry his work tools? No. Would he ask the nice life guard for tools? No.  My husband will tell you he doesn’t live by the Marine creed “Leave no man behind” but by the pirate creed, “If you fall behind, you’re left behind.“  My husband lovingly pointed out that the reason the seat was malfunctioning was because there was too much weight on it and I needed to use my leg muscles more!  I know, Beelzebub.  My husband and I promised each other years ago, that we would never get a divorce but I secretly think he is trying to kill me to get out of the deal.

About 2 miles into the ride, my husband promised there was a store where he could buy a tool to fix my seat.  I just had to ride a little further.  This led to a two mile bike path that had no exit.  Once you start on this path you have to continue.  I am in some serious pain and I start praying, “I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me. I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me.” (Phil 4:13)  Then I see this lady in a wheel chair and I know I should think, if she can do it I can do it but seriously all I thought was can I please borrow your wheel chair.  As I am peddling and peddling, I want to give up.  I want to stop in the middle of the road and cry.  I soon realize I am either having a mini stroke or the Lord is giving me this devotion to keep my mind off the pain.

This endless bike path is kind of like the hard seasons in our life where the burn and fatigue are so intense we feel like we can’t go any further.  I have friends right now who are struggling through this season.  They are kind of like me on this endless bike path.  Having to keep moving forward because they can’t go backwards, but tired of the ride.  They are feeling hopeless and overwhelmed, wondering, “Is this as good as it gets Lord?”

As I prayed for the Lord to give me words of encouragement, He brought to mind the story of Joseph.  Genesis 37-39. You see, Joseph was a young man of great promise.  He was 17 years old, handsome, had a great body (the Bible says that not me), had the gift of prophetic dreams, and to top it all off he was his father’s favorite son.  Because he was young and over-confident he got a little cocky.  His brothers got tired of his bragging and were jealous so they sold him into slavery. Joseph could have bemoaned his fate, crawled into the fetal position and had a pity party. Instead, Joseph used his struggles to develop his character and grow in wisdom.  Because of his faithful service, God blessed all he did.  Joseph’s master, Potiphar, recognized that the Lord was with him and soon made him overseer of his entire household.  But Joseph soon found himself betrayed and wrongly accused by Potiphar’s wife who wanted his hot body and Joseph ended up in jail.  By now, most of us would have given up, crawled into our cell and waited to die.   Not Joseph, he worked hard, gaining the favor of the prison guard who gave him authority over all the prisoners.  Soon the Pharaoh of Egypt was plagued by a disturbing dream that no one could interpret. Joseph was pulled out of jail and brought before the Pharaoh.  God opened the door for Joseph by giving him an opportunity to use his gift, but Joseph had learned his lesson and he gave all the glory to God.  The Pharaoh rewarded Joseph with a position of authority second only to his own.

See we are not alone in our suffering.  Even David, who God called a man after His own heart, had a tough road before God fulfilled His promise to make him King.  He went through years of tribulation, running for his life and hiding from Saul who wanted to kill him.  At his lowest, he did not wallow in self-pity, he called out to God and God gave him the inspiration to write the majority of the Psalms in the Bible.  The Bible says, “Take the old prophets as your mentors. They put up with anything, went through everything, and never once quit, all the time honoring God. What a gift life is to those who stay the course. “ James 5:10-11 (MGS)

If we use these guys as our mentors, we learn that:
1.  God honors those who persevere.  “Blessed is the one who perseveres under trail because having stood the test, that person will receive the crown of life that the Lord has promised to those who love him.” James 1:12
2.  He will equip you for the struggle. “It is God who arms me with strength and makes my way perfect…For you have armed me with strength for the battle.” Psalm 18:32
3.  And finally, whether you are in the prime of life, or in a rut feeling like a hamster running circles on a wheel, or in a pit of despair, God can use you.  Keep your heart and eyes open for the opportunities He will bring your way, just like Joseph.

We have two options when we are in this season of difficulty.  We can quit and get off the bike or we can persevere.  If we find ways to use the gifts God has bestowed upon us during our trials and draw our strength from Him, who knows what doors He’ll open for us.  And remember, “Wait on the Lord, be of good courage, and He shall strengthen your heart.” Psalm 27:14

In conclusion, because I know you are dying to find out, I wish I could tell you I conquered the burn and triumphantly rode into the finish line but sadly no.  My trip did end on some good points. My husband went from Beelzebub to hero when he agreed to switch bikes with me on the ride back.  True love is riding a magenta pink bike.  He got promoted from hero to knight when he finally agreed to go get the truck.  It only took me refusing to go any further, throwing myself on the side of the road in a tantrum my preschoolers would be proud of, and threatening mutiny of my nether regions.  Oh yeah, I went there.  But like all romantic tales, my highlight was when my husband picked me up and said, “I am sorta kinda proud of you, Babe.”  Ok, in my delirium I remember it went something like that.  See God doesn’t expect me to have all the answers or the right attitude all the time. That’s why those guys are the mentors and not me.  He just needs me to get back on the bike next weekend.  And next time, with God’s help, I’ll make it a little further before hubby has to get the truck and maybe only need one Bayer Aspirin!

There is no shame in walking your bike!