The Doggie Chronicles - A Dog's Guide to Dating in 2026

Hi, my name is Jessie and this is my....
Guide to Dating in 2026.

From a dog's point of view, and from what my human mom obsesses over on her social media reels, dating pretty much sucks for this generation. Dating APPS are torture devices and create PTSDA - Post Traumatic Social Dating Anxiety.  And from the amount of "Single Dog Dads" and "Single Cat Mom" posts, there seems to be an epidemic of loneliness among singles of all ages. Which breaks my doggie heart.

Don't get me wrong, dogs and cats are awesome, and we want you to keep adopting us, but even GOD knew that we could not replace human to human connection. When God made Adam, he put him in charge of all the animals. Can you imagine riding on an elephant, lying down with a lion, swimming alongside whales, walking with the first dog ever created in the Garden of Eden. Jesus Himself walked with Adam in the cool of the evenings and yet God looked at Adam and said to Himself, "That Dude's lonely. The animals are not cutting it. It's not good for man to be alone, we must make him a suitable helpmate." 

So, I figured I'd give you singles a little love advice from a dog's point of view. We are simple creatures, but God made us very wise. We understand everything our humans tell us, but we are not allowed to speak your language. God knew if we did, we'd replace every therapist out there. 

 

And just so you know that I have the credentials to back up my advice. Let me introduce you to my girlfriend, Rue. She's a feisty, protective, gorgeous Dobie.  I spotted that girl at the dog park, locked eyes and ran over a peed on her. I know...sounds gross to a human. My poor human mom was mortified, but a dog's gotta do what a dog's gotta do. I had to mark her as mine to keep the other hounds away! She ran after me, took a chunk out of my fluffy tail, and that was it, she had my heart forever.  So, take it from me, I know what I'm talking about.

Number 1: If you are single, get a dog. We make great wingmen.  It's a good thing my human mom and dad have been married for over 30 years and are as loyal to each other as dogs, because with adorable me, I draw so much attention. When I'm by their side, humans stop them on the street, on hikes, at the dog park, at cafes. You get the picture.  Get yourself a wingman, just not a cat.  Cats are not as effective as dogs in matchmaking. We rule when it comes to social interaction.

Number 2: Stick to dog people.  Cat people are "special." Let them find love among one another. And not Chihuahuas. They are almost cats. First question on a date should be, "Are you a dog person or cat person?" Dog owners show that they are responsible, conscientious, active, and loving.  Think about it, they have to feed us, walk us and pick up our poop. 

Number 3:  Be decisive. Stop swiping to the left and the right. The grass isn't greener on the other side. Trust me, I know grass. Pick one and commit. Mark her. Imprint.  Don't pee on her because that only works for dogs. But you get the picture. Put a ring on her. Tell the world, "She's mine!"

According to my Doggie Chronicle research, the Greatest Generation was the WW2 generation. They were brave and steadfast. They survived the Great Depression; men stormed the shores of Normandy while the women held down the fort on the homefront. And they knew how to find everlasting love. 

There are many tales of how they met their spouses at a dance hall. They locked eyes across the dance floor, danced all night, married two weeks later, had a zillion grandkids and great grandkids, and celebrated 60+ year wedding anniversaries. Yeah, they had seasons where life got hard and they fought like cats and dogs, but they jumped in and refused to cut and run.

They left legacies of great love stories and commitment that we should try and emulate. 

So, men get a dog, learn to care for something besides yourself, take them with you wherever you go and find your Rue. 

Number 4:  It's OK to be a different breed than your helpmate. Rue is a Dobbie. I'm a Border Husky. I'm a lover and she's a fighter. I will go up to coyotes and ask them to play. She will kick their butt and then mine for being stupid. She eats horse poop on trails and roadkill. I stick to doggie treats I beg off strangers with my charming personality. But, where it counts, we are the same. We are loyal, loving, faithful, energetic, and believe and worship the God who created us. We value prayer walks our humans take us on because they pray for us too.  

So, singles, it doesn't have to be Mr. Perfect or Misses Perfect.  Trust me, they don't exist. Just pick a breed that has your same goals, values, faith and heart.

I wish you could be like a dog and have the supernatural gift of smelling butts. We can tell a loser from a winner with one sniff. But, since you don't have that super cool gift, use the supernatural gift God gave you - discernment. Spiritually sniff them out. Does their character stink or smell like treats and bacon? 

Also, have them pass the dog test. Introduce them to us. We can smell a loser a mile away. If they are mean to us or rude to you, kick them to the curb or we cannot be held accountable for our bad doggie behavior. 

Number 5: Lastly, don't be a couch potato dog owner.  I feel sorry for those dogs. Those dogs get unhealthy and lazy. Get the leash, get us out of the house, go where the dog people go -the park, the beach, a hike, patio cafes and watch us reel them in. Then do your part and talk to the humans. Do a spiritual smell test. BUT don't pee on them or smell their butts because that will get you in human trouble. Learn to perfect the art of human communication. It's a lost and dying skill, revive it and inspire others.  It will make you stand out in a sadly growing silent generation. 

We, your dogs, will be here for you as you make your way through the losers until God brings you your suitable helpmate. And don't settle. Wait on God's timing.

My single fiends, Jessie loves you.  He want's God to bring you your Rue. This is the prayer my human mom prays every day for the singles in her life: 

Heavenly Father

You said it is not good for man to be alone. That you would make a helpmate suitable for them. You know it is not good for _________to be alone. I pray you bring them their helpmate created perfectly by You who is suitable for them. I pray for divine appointments for their paths to cross. Protect them from attack of the enemy who would try to distract them and lead them astray. Help them draw close to you, Jesus, so that they will not be lonely. Bring them godly friends to keep them accountable. Help them not grow discouraged in the wait but I pray that you bring them their spouse soon, LORD. In the meantime, prepare their hearts by Your Word to be a godly spouse in Your perfect timing. In Jesus Name. Amen. 

Love,

Jessie

Psalm 121:1-2 I look to the hills. Where will I find help? 

It will come from the LORD who created heaven and earth.