A Tribute to Grandma Margaret

   

Born 12-3-1921 Went home to be with the Lord 11-30-2013 

This past weekend we lost a very special lady in our family.  My husband’s grandmother, Margaret, went home to be with the Lord. And even though I know that she was blessed with almost 92 years of life and she's rejoicing in Heaven as I write this, I still feel very sad.  You see, she was beloved by many and will be missed. She was funny lady, with a quick wit and dry sense of humor.  And man could she let you have it with a one-line zinger that never failed to amuse me. She watched her sports shows religiously, whether it was golf, tennis or baseball and she knew the stats and her favorite players by name. She was also addicted to playing Bingo and was a cool card shark in Poker.  It was amazing how these activities kept her mind sharp as a tack even at 91 years old.  The last time I saw her she complained that she couldn't play poker anymore with her fellow senior home residents because their minds were too slow and she felt bad taking their money, even if they were only playing for pennies.

I remember when I first met my in-laws, like any new bride-to-be, I was very nervous.  But as soon as I met Grandma Margaret, I felt comfortable and at home. She quickly became my go-to person at every holiday function.  She was a feisty widow and I loved hearing her life stories. How she fell in love and eloped soon after meeting her husband and left an old boyfriend behind without a word. How God would eventually bring that old boyfriend back into her lonely widowed life and they would renew their friendship. We were not allowed to call him her boyfriend though because that would get us into trouble.  He was just her special friend.  I loved to hear her talk about her younger sister Belle and I always got a kick out of the fact that they would call each other 2-3 times a day even though they lived minutes apart.

Grandma with her sister Belle

One of the things that made Grandma Margaret stand out was her beautiful chestnut hair. It was always elegantly styled in a 1960’s  hairdo.  She was very particular about her hair and once told me that even though it would be easier to go gray she kept it colored because her husband liked her hair color.  Later when she decided to let it go gray, I remember feeling sad because I had to accept the fact that she was getting older, tired more easily, and that time was passing by….too quickly.

When my husband helped clear out her little senior apartment he told me, “This is just stuff. What is really important are the memories I have of the times we spent together.”  He spent a lot of his childhood hanging out with his grandparents.  He would go fishing with his grandfather and when they got home Grandma Margaret would fry up their catch in the garage. My husband claims she had the best pancake mix fish batter recipe.  Through out the years of my marriage, I've heard how his grandmother was gifted at hospitality. The minute you walked into her house she wanted to cook for you.  According to my hubby, she was up at dawn all the years of her marriage to make his grandfather’s breakfast and lunch.  In my husband’s eyes, she was the paragon of womanhood.  But you know what, that’s totally OK because that is how grandsons should view their grandmothers. Every memory should be filled with love, comfort, laughter, and warmth.  The last few times my husband talked to his grandma she seemed to want to reminisce about all the fun times they shared in the past. She would say, “Remember Eric, when grandpa, you and I would do this and that….” Story after story was filled with laughter and love.  Those were happy days for her and remembering them gave her comfort.

Grandma Margaret and Hubby as a cute baby

I believe one of Grandma Margaret’s greatest qualities was her consideration for others.  It was always very important to her that she remembered every one’s birthday. She would send us a card with a $25 dollar check because she wanted us to treat ourselves to something special.  It really bothered her when her cards arrived late, so one Christmas I gave her a calendar that had everyone’s birthday written on it. She told me recently that she kept that calendar all these years.  As it became difficult for her to get around, she would call us and apologize for her cards being late.  Even though I reassured her that it was OK, it was still upsetting because it was her way of expressing love for us.  In October, my daughter received her birthday card and she was saving the check to buy something special for Christmas.  My daughter has decided not to cash that check.  She wants to keep it as a memory of Grandma Margaret's generous spirit. Because you see, it is the love that went into the card not the money that made the birthday cards special.  

With grandma’s passing, I’m reminded that every moment you spend with someone you love needs to be prioritized because it could be your very last.  Our last visit with Grandma Margaret was a special blessing from the Lord and I will forever be grateful for it.  We had decided to surprise her for a visit on a Sunday afternoon.  Looking back on that day, God worked out every detail perfectly.  We were running late and hadn't eaten lunch so we stopped by the grocery store to buy ourselves some snacks figuring we would eat lunch with grandma in the senior dining room. Unbeknownst to us, she had been ill and was eating lunch in her room. She happened to dislike the meal that had been delivered from the kitchen so the minute we walked in with our bag of goodies she says, “What did you bring me to eat?”  It was hysterical. We ended up buying enough so we all had a picnic lunch in her room.

That day, I had the feeling that it was important to take pictures with her and I am so glad that I listened to that still, small voice. I will cherish these pictures as a gift from the Lord to remember a very special picnic lunch.

On a previous visit, I had given grandma a gift. It was the Jesus Calling yearly devotion book by Sarah Young. I love this devotion book because the author is gifted at incorporating scripture in her writing and you feel as if the Lord is speaking to you directly.  At the time, I was a little apprehensive about giving it to grandma because I was not sure how she would receive it. But she was so grateful for it. She asked me to place the marker on the correct date so that she could start reading it. During our final visit, I saw the book on her nightstand by her bed. I asked her what she thought about it.  She told me she liked the book very much and read it daily. I was so glad that I didn't let doubt or uncertainty prevent me from buying her this gift because my prayer is that Jesus spoke to her through the pages of this book, that He called her his beloved daughter, that He told her how much He loved her, and that He prepared her heart to come home to be with Him for eternity. For you see, God has promised eternal life for those who believe in His Son Jesus Christ. This is the source of our hope: 

1 Peter 1:3-6 (CEV)

Praise God, the Father of our Lord Jesus Christ. God is so good, and by raising Jesus from death, he has given us new life and a hope that lives on.  God has something stored up for you in heaven, where it will never decay or be ruined or disappear.You have faith in God, whose power will protect you until the last day. Then he will save you, just as he has always planned to do. On that day you will be glad, even if you have to go through many hard trials for a while.

Those of us who are left behind when our loved ones go to Heaven may be going through a trail of grief right now. And though our hearts may be breaking, we can't allow them to be shattered because our tears of grief should also be tears of hope. I believe I will see Grandma Margaret again and when God calls me home, she along with my own grandmother, will surely come guide me home. Until then, I will cherish the memories of her and will continue to make new ones with my family for as long as God gives me breath because that is our calling and purpose.  We are called to touch as many lives with the love of Jesus Christ in the time that we are given.

So Grandma Margaret, we love you. You touched each of our lives in your own special way. Each of us has our own treasured memories, and though we will miss your presence here with us, we are comforted in the promise of seeing each other again. I'd like to share these encouraging words from the Apostle Paul:

My friends, we want you to understand how it will be for those believers who have already died. Then you won't grieve over them and be like people who don't have any hope. We believe that Jesus died and was raised to life. We also believe that when God brings Jesus back again, he will bring with him all who had faith in Jesus before they died.
You see, there's far more to life for us. We are citizens of high heaven! We're waiting for arrival of the Savior, Jesus Christ, who will transform our earthly bodies into glorious bodies like his own. He'll make us beautiful and whole.

 1 Thessalonians 4:13 and Philippians 3:20-21

In loving tribute,
Yolanda