Getting into the God Zone

I've come to the conclusion that I have an addictive personality. Those who know me are probably not surprised by this revelation. And those who had any doubts, no longer have any after this last weekend.

Oh, there have been signs of this addictive behavior in my past:

Food addiction – burrito wrappers found in my closet. OK, in my defense, I was in high school at the time.        

Romance novel addiction – my own personal lending library. OK, in my defense, I'm still in rehab for this addiction. 

Celebrity crush addiction – OK, OK, I have no defense for this one. 

And so on and so on…

You see, I've been training for a 5K in April, doubling up on workouts and running 2 times a week. I never quite believed it when people said that running was addictive. I figured they were some kind of genetic, athletic freaks or something. But I’m beginning to see those addictive tendencies in myself.

This Easter, I organized a family walk to get us up and moving. After completing 1-mile, I was literally bouncing and fidgety wanting to do another. One of my cousins asked me, “What’s wrong with you? Are you cold?” I admit, I fibbed and told him I was cold but really I just wanted to get back on the trail. My aunt said, “You’re getting addicted.” Yes, yes, I’m afraid I am. 

Part of the appeal of working out is the endorphin release. For example, recently in a kickboxing class, I was literally in “the zone” doing these high sidekicks. I was focused, on fire, channeling the Karate Kid. Afterwards, I was able to do this impossible stretch that I have been attempting forever! This backwards stretch used to drive me crazy. I could always grab one leg, but the other leg would stubbornly stay just inches out of reach. But finally I grabbed on to both feet and it felt awesome!  

Lately, I've felt like my relationship with God is just like this impossible stretch. God is just out of my reach. I’m close to grabbing onto Him but He’s just beyond my grasp. Even though I’m reading my Bible more than ever. Going to church consistently. Listening to worship music constantly. Basically, spiritually working out. However, that close intimate connection was evading me. And just like my feet were just out of reach, that’s how I felt about connecting intimately with God. I desire to be in the spiritual “zone”. You may read this and think, “There is no spiritual zone with God.” But you see, I know there is. I've been there. When I got baptized by the Holy Spirit in 2012, and for about a year after, I was in the zone; on fire, channeling the Holy Spirit, addicted to God.

When I’m adrift like this, my writing suffers. My spiritual eyesight, which is my Holy Spirit muse, is affected. I see the world through human filters, and let me tell you, it’s a scary and depressing place. I see so much negativity, pain, suffering, and dangers lurking in the horizon, that it all feels overwhelming and hopeless. I wonder:

What can I do?

What good am I doing?

Does anything I do make a difference?

And therein lies my problem.

It’s NOT an “eye” problem, it’s an “I” problem. I'm focusing on me, me, me. I can’t do anything in my own strength. I can’t take on the world’s problems on my puny shoulders. I’ll collapse under the weight of the burden. This morning, in my Jesus Calling devotion by Sarah Young, God spoke to me through these words:

 “Though I never leave you, you can essentially ‘leave’ Me by ignoring Me: thinking or acting as if I am not with you. When you feel distance in our relationship, you know where the problem lies. My Love for you is constant; I am the same yesterday, today, and forever. It is you who change like shifting sand, letting circumstances toss you this way and that. When you feel far from Me, whisper My Name. This simple act, done in childlike faith, opens your heart to My Presence.” (page 103)

You see, I've been letting the world’s circumstances toss me to and fro, like a boat adrift in a stormy sea. The constant heartbreaking world news is distracting me, making me fearful, and spiritually paralyzing me. I’m acting like God is not with me. He reminded me today that He is with me - always. How is He telling me to come back to “the zone” of His presence? Through childlike faith, whispering His name. Amazingly, this is what I did recently without even realizing it.

This week, I added a new workout to my fitness addiction. I went roller-skating. I used to love to roller-skate as a child. I would spin and twirl, skate backwards and forwards. It always felt like soaring and as close to flying as I could get. So, as I laced up those skates after 30+ years, I prayed, “Jesus, please don’t let me fall or get hurt. Please let me have fun.” And as I wobbled my way into the rink, I slowly gained confidence. That ability I had in my youth came back to me and I was soaring and laughing, going around and around in the rink. A feeling of euphoria and joy entered my soul and I whispered, “Thank you, Jesus.”

And it was as simple as whispering His Name to regain that feeling of God's presence so intimately that my soul rejoiced. So, if you have been feeling like me, that God is just out of reach and you can't seem to grab hold, remember getting into the "God Zone" is not crazy workouts, backward stretches, or even running miles. It is as simple as remembering how be child-like, full of wonder and trust, calling out to our Heavenly Dad. 

So let's pray like King David prayed in Psalm 63:1-8 (CEV)

God, your love means more to me than life.
You are my God. I will worship you.
In my heart, I long for you, as I would long for a stream in a scorching desert. 
I have seen your power and your glory in the place of worship.
Your love means more than life to me, and I will praise you.
As long as I live, I will pray to you.
I will sing joyful praises and be filled with excitement like a guest at a banquet.
I think about you before I go to sleep, and my thoughts turn to you during the night.
You have helped me, and I sing happy songs in the shadow of your wings.
I stay close to you, and your powerful arm supports me.
In Jesus Name, Amen.

Love,
Yolanda