The Doggie Chronicles - A Dog's Guide to Dating in 2026

Hi, my name is Jessie and this is my....
Guide to Dating in 2026.

From a dog's point of view, and from what my human mom obsesses over on her social media reels, dating pretty much sucks for this generation. Dating APPS are torture devices and create PTSDA - Post Traumatic Social Dating Anxiety.  And from the amount of "Single Dog Dads" and "Single Cat Mom" posts, there seems to be an epidemic of loneliness among singles of all ages. Which breaks my doggie heart.

Don't get me wrong, dogs and cats are awesome, and we want you to keep adopting us, but even GOD knew that we could not replace human to human connection. When God made Adam, he put him in charge of all the animals. Can you imagine riding on an elephant, lying down with a lion, swimming alongside whales, walking with the first dog ever created in the Garden of Eden. Jesus Himself walked with Adam in the cool of the evenings and yet God looked at Adam and said to Himself, "That Dude's lonely. The animals are not cutting it. It's not good for man to be alone, we must make him a suitable helpmate." 

So, I figured I'd give you singles a little love advice from a dog's point of view. We are simple creatures, but God made us very wise. We understand everything our humans tell us, but we are not allowed to speak your language. God knew if we did, we'd replace every therapist out there. 

 

And just so you know that I have the credentials to back up my advice. Let me introduce you to my girlfriend, Rue. She's a feisty, protective, gorgeous Dobie.  I spotted that girl at the dog park, locked eyes and ran over a peed on her. I know...sounds gross to a human. My poor human mom was mortified, but a dog's gotta do what a dog's gotta do. I had to mark her as mine to keep the other hounds away! She ran after me, took a chunk out of my fluffy tail, and that was it, she had my heart forever.  So, take it from me, I know what I'm talking about.

Number 1: If you are single, get a dog. We make great wingmen.  It's a good thing my human mom and dad have been married for over 30 years and are as loyal to each other as dogs, because with adorable me, I draw so much attention. When I'm by their side, humans stop them on the street, on hikes, at the dog park, at cafes. You get the picture.  Get yourself a wingman, just not a cat.  Cats are not as effective as dogs in matchmaking. We rule when it comes to social interaction.

Number 2: Stick to dog people.  Cat people are "special." Let them find love among one another. And not Chihuahuas. They are almost cats. First question on a date should be, "Are you a dog person or cat person?" Dog owners show that they are responsible, conscientious, active, and loving.  Think about it, they have to feed us, walk us and pick up our poop. 

Number 3:  Be decisive. Stop swiping to the left and the right. The grass isn't greener on the other side. Trust me, I know grass. Pick one and commit. Mark her. Imprint.  Don't pee on her because that only works for dogs. But you get the picture. Put a ring on her. Tell the world, "She's mine!"

According to my Doggie Chronicle research, the Greatest Generation was the WW2 generation. They were brave and steadfast. They survived the Great Depression; men stormed the shores of Normandy while the women held down the fort on the homefront. And they knew how to find everlasting love. 

There are many tales of how they met their spouses at a dance hall. They locked eyes across the dance floor, danced all night, married two weeks later, had a zillion grandkids and great grandkids, and celebrated 60+ year wedding anniversaries. Yeah, they had seasons where life got hard and they fought like cats and dogs, but they jumped in and refused to cut and run.

They left legacies of great love stories and commitment that we should try and emulate. 

So, men get a dog, learn to care for something besides yourself, take them with you wherever you go and find your Rue. 

Number 4:  It's OK to be a different breed than your helpmate. Rue is a Dobbie. I'm a Border Husky. I'm a lover and she's a fighter. I will go up to coyotes and ask them to play. She will kick their butt and then mine for being stupid. She eats horse poop on trails and roadkill. I stick to doggie treats I beg off strangers with my charming personality. But, where it counts, we are the same. We are loyal, loving, faithful, energetic, and believe and worship the God who created us. We value prayer walks our humans take us on because they pray for us too.  

So, singles, it doesn't have to be Mr. Perfect or Misses Perfect.  Trust me, they don't exist. Just pick a breed that has your same goals, values, faith and heart.

I wish you could be like a dog and have the supernatural gift of smelling butts. We can tell a loser from a winner with one sniff. But, since you don't have that super cool gift, use the supernatural gift God gave you - discernment. Spiritually sniff them out. Does their character stink or smell like treats and bacon? 

Also, have them pass the dog test. Introduce them to us. We can smell a loser a mile away. If they are mean to us or rude to you, kick them to the curb or we cannot be held accountable for our bad doggie behavior. 

Number 5: Lastly, don't be a couch potato dog owner.  I feel sorry for those dogs. Those dogs get unhealthy and lazy. Get the leash, get us out of the house, go where the dog people go -the park, the beach, a hike, patio cafes and watch us reel them in. Then do your part and talk to the humans. Do a spiritual smell test. BUT don't pee on them or smell their butts because that will get you in human trouble. Learn to perfect the art of human communication. It's a lost and dying skill, revive it and inspire others.  It will make you stand out in a sadly growing silent generation. 

We, your dogs, will be here for you as you make your way through the losers until God brings you your suitable helpmate. And don't settle. Wait on God's timing.

My single fiends, Jessie loves you.  He want's God to bring you your Rue. This is the prayer my human mom prays every day for the singles in her life: 

Heavenly Father

You said it is not good for man to be alone. That you would make a helpmate suitable for them. You know it is not good for _________to be alone. I pray you bring them their helpmate created perfectly by You who is suitable for them. I pray for divine appointments for their paths to cross. Protect them from attack of the enemy who would try to distract them and lead them astray. Help them draw close to you, Jesus, so that they will not be lonely. Bring them godly friends to keep them accountable. Help them not grow discouraged in the wait but I pray that you bring them their spouse soon, LORD. In the meantime, prepare their hearts by Your Word to be a godly spouse in Your perfect timing. In Jesus Name. Amen. 

Love,

Jessie

Follow me on Instagram @jessie_thedoggiechronicles

Psalm 121:1-2 I look to the hills. Where will I find help? 

It will come from the LORD who created heaven and earth. 

Unleashing My Inner Sophia

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Every year for my birthday, I like to write a blog post reflecting what personality trait or goal I want to accomplish that year. One year, when I was in my forties, I unleashed my inner bombshell. Then another year, I was jogging so I unleashed my inner runner, etc. etc. 

This year, I couldn't figure out what it was that I had left to unleash. Maybe this was as good as it gets and there was nothing left.

But then a memory came to me of a character I admired and even remember thinking, "When I get older, I want to be Sophia." Now you probably think, Sophia Loren with her timeless beauty or even Sophia Vergara, with her amazing physique.

But no. My goal was to be Sophia Petrillo from the Golden Girls.  I loved that show! I never wanted to grow old and be Blanche - the sexy one! My goal was to grow old and be Sophia - the quick witted one. 

I remember thinking. “I can’t wait to speak without a filter and get away with it because I’m old.”

Her character is described as:

Sassy, quick-witted, and wise, she provides comic relief and surprisingly deep advice.

That's what I want. That's how I want to live out my senior citizen years. That's how I want to be remembered.

Sassy and quick-witted - to me that is not being mean but direct. You can be sassy and quick-witted by speaking truth and being blunt but by tempering it through the Holy Spirit to wake people up. To be like the Apostle Peter, where yes, he often spoke quickly before thinking but he was also called the Rock. 

Bringer of Comic Relief - This is ME! I'm not good at the hugging and the crying. That usually makes me want to flee, but making people laugh and lightening the mood that is my job. Even when my dad was in a nursing home, my older sister was the soft touch, my younger sister the practical one, and I was comic relief. I think my dad needed all three and God knew it.

Giver of deep advice - this is my prayer for myself. Deep advice comes from being in close fellowship with Jesus, in tune to the Holy Spirit, and knowledgeable of the Word. All advice we give should flow through those three things. My prayer is that when someone comes to me for prayer or advise that I give them Godly counsel. 

There are two types of elderly people. And we have all met them. There are those who are like Moses at 85 leading the people into the Promise Land and Caleb at 85 saying, "Give me the high country."

Or there is Naomi from the Book of Esther when she was bitter and depressed.

I want to be a Moses and a Caleb. 

Now some of you elderly reading this will say, "Well, I don't have good health." And that is even me some days. Some days I wake up and look in the mirror and say, "What the hell is that on my face?" It's like in the middle of the night something new grows where it shouldn't. Or I get out of bed and there are weird aches and pains somewhere new, crazy unused places, and it wasn't like I ran a marathon the day before.  

There is a lady at my church who is in a wheelchair. She is probably in her 80s and her husband pulls out her wheelchair at 6:30 am every Sunday so they can both serve as greeters. They are just starting a new ministry at our church for Grief Share during a weeknight. I can't even stay up past 8:30 pm most nights. I look at them, as I'm running into the church, late for my morning greeter position, and they are already at their post, and I am amazed. They are my inspiration.

So, as I enter my late 50s and approach 60, my life ambition is to embrace the Sophia Petrillo spirit - sassy, quick-witted, wise and comic relief. The world can be so heavy and dark at times. We need Sophias. We need to bring joy, laughter, and light to people who are struggling in their Naomi stage of life. When Naomi encountered a Ruth spirit - she changed from grumpy to blessed.

So, to quote Sophia:

"Gowing old is mandatory, but growing up is an option."

So, pray with me for my birthday:

Heavenly Father, 

You gave Caleb and Moses the strength to lead people in their golden years, give me the strength to lead people to you in my golden years. Give me wisdom like Daniel in his golden years, that brought revelation to generations. Extend my years like Hezekiah so that I can be here for my daughter until you provide for her the Boaz I've been praying for and bless me with good health so I can run the race with endurance and reach for that prize - the crown of life set before me.  

In Jesus Name. Amen.

Love,

Yolanda

Countdown to Rapture

 In 2020, a friend and I went to a prophecy conference and heard a pastor talk about how he was convinced that the Abraham Accords signed in September of 2020 was the covenant mentioned in Daniel. When the covenant mentioned in Daniel is confirmed, it starts what the Bible calls the 70th week of Daniel, otherwise known as the 7 Year Tribulation.

I remember hearing that and having a mini heart attack. Now, I know and my friend knows that no one knows the day or the hour, so we took this information with a grain of salt. But it was like a warning blast of a shofar to keep oil in our lamps and be on watch. 

As a private joke, we downloaded a countdown APP on our phones that tracked the proposed Rapture date like a hopeful coming event - like a wedding or graduation that you are anticipating. And over the last 5 years, we have texted each other screenshots when life gets hard or current events start reading like Matthew 24.

Now, I'm not upset with this pastor and won't even be mean and call him a false prophet. Like the apostles in the Bible, he thought the Second Coming of Jesus was imminent. He was convinced the Abraham Accords were the start of the countdown. 

When you have the calling of being a Watchman on the Wall, you are constantly on the lookout and prepared to give a warning. Other people's lives depend on it. In Ezekiel 3 and 33, God commissions Ezekiel as a Watchman for Israel. God warns Ezekiel telling him if he sees danger approaching and doesn't warn the people, he will be accountable for their deaths. If he warns, and people don't listen, then he will not be held accountable.  

So, this pastor's message was like a warning blast from the wall. It was a false alarm, but an alarm, nevertheless. It cemented in my mind, the need to be on high alert prophetically when "peace deals" are made that concern Israel. That's what a good watchman does, he scans the horizon for warning signs, Those who are called to be watchman should observe current events through the lens of scripture.

So, as my countdown APP is still moving towards this hypothetical date of 10/2/2026 - 9 am of course because who wants to be Raptured in their PJs - I decided this morning that my main goal for 2026 is to live my life like this countdown to the Rapture is not hypothetical but real. 

What if every morning I wake up knowing that the day or hour to seeing Jesus is getting closer?

How would I live my life?

If you knew you were going to see Jesus face to face on October 2, 2026, how would you prepare for that meeting now? 

I would:

1. Cut out all things in my life that will embarrass me or shame me when I meet Jesus: Bad habits, unforgiveness, fear, laziness, etc.

2. Get healthy - take care of my tent so that I can run the last leg of the race with endurance and win that prize.

3. Take my calling of a Watchman seriously. Warn everyone that Jesus is coming back soon. Be on guard for attack of the enemy. Be trained in Spiritual Warfare. 

4. Reactivate my personal prayer language that has been neglected too long and pray in the Spirit again. This will strengthen my faith, empower my spirit and give me spiritual discernment and wisdom.

5. Blow may shofar again as a spiritual weapon of war. 

6. Encourage and teach people to pray scripture.

7. Be a shepherdess for Jesus. Watch out for His sheep. Rescue the lost. Go after those who are wandering away. Bind the wounds of the broken. Do not let any of His sheep wander alone and be easy pickings for the enemy.

I was kind of dreading 2026 but after remembering my Countdown APP, I am kind of excited to walk into it with a whole new purpose. The Bible says to redeem the time (Ephesians 5:15-16), making the most of every opportunity because the days are evil. We all can sense that 2026 is going to be a turbulent year, with elections and Israel becoming the stumbling block to the world mentioned in Isaish 8:14-15.  Now is not the time to retreat but to engage in the spiritual battle before us. 

So, when 10/3/2026 comes and I am still here, don't worry about me. I am not going to be disappointed or go crazy; I am using this as fuel to train - spiritually, mentally, and physically. Kind of like when I started to jog for a 5-K. I would tell myself, you just have to run to that bench or fence, then you can walk. Take it one step at a time. If that day comes, I will set another countdown and keep training.

Since the Bible tells us, don't cling to the things of this earth, let's start 2026 storing for ourselves treasures in Heaven. Live each day like you have a Countdown to meet Jesus face to face. 

Ask yourself, if this is the year I meet Jesus either by Rapture or death, how do I want to be remembered? What jewels in my crown do I want to earn in the next 12 months? 

Live this way in 2026 and it will be the best year ever.

God bless and happy New Year.

Love,

Yolanda