I'm Officially an Empty Nester

 

I’ve been promoted to the position and title “Empty Nester.”

My one and only baby bird has flown out of the security of our little nest into the great blue sky. 

People have asked me how I feel and the best way to describe it is “I’m happy for her. Sad for me, but my happiness for her exceeds my sadness.” I know it’s a good thing in my head, but my heart is taking a while to agree. Wiser mentors have consoled me saying, “That is successful parenting.” Getting the baby eagle out of the nest to soar on her own. I guess my crazy parenting has been successful, in spite of my many, many mistakes. I have earned this promotion from “Hovering Mama Bird” to “Empty Nester.”

 And like promotions or job changes, you know it’s for the best, but it is still bittersweet. 
You leave behind everything you know, the familiar routines and responsibilities. You leave behind relationships that have been forged in the trenches. And you step out into a whole different season of life.

The last few years have been preparing me for this moment. 

A few years ago, I had to step away from a job and coworkers who had become family to me. We were soul sisters, bonded like Jonathon and David. They were my Aarons and Hur in the spiritual battle of life. One day, after 14 years of ministry work, God made us all scatter like the Disciples in the Book of Acts to further the work of the Kingdom to our personal Judeas and Samarias and to the ends of the earth. And just like I imagine the disciples felt, it was scary and painful, but we all knew it was necessary.  And I can say after a year of tears and personal struggle we all came up for air and started to bloom where we were planted.

One of things my soul sisters and I determined was that our bond was strong enough to survive the scattering. We were just going to have to get creative and be committed to making time for one another. And it has worked - Christmas potlucks, frozen yogurt dates, once a month hiking, and emergency prayer sessions.  And even though we are not all under the same roof day to day, all it takes is a phone call and we fly back to the nest.

God is good. Even though we don’t realize it. He is preparing us for what’s ahead. With my daughter, He has been preparing me since she was born. The minute she cracked herself out of the egg, she was ready to fly the coop. 

• She hated to be swaddled. She wanted to feel free of restraints. 
• She held her own bottle at 4 months old. Little Miss Independence.
• At two years old, she showed so much determination to climb what seemed impossible to her (it was a jolly jump mountain), crying in frustration with her little arms shaking, “I can do it.” She would not quit even though her mom and dad were telling her it was OK to quit. She kept at it until she reached the top. I knew then I was in trouble. 
• At 4 years old, she told Hovering Mama Bird, “You over there.” Basically, saying in 4-year-old talk, “I got this.”
• In sports it was, “Do NOT talk to my coaches. I can handle it.”
• When she wanted to drive, I wanted her to wait one more year. I told her, “Let’s take baby steps.” She looked me straight in the eyes with wisdom beyond her years and said, “You are going to have to let me go one day.” Arrow to the heart.
• During the LockDown of 2020, she would not be contained. She went on a Rebellion Travel Tour. People were horrified that I was not sheltering her in place, but I knew that clipping my baby bird's wings would cause irrevocable harm to her mind and spirit. 
• Then it was sky diving and travel for work and pleasure and so on and so on. 

When you are a Hovering Mama Bird who hatches a Wild Eagle, it takes Jesus to keep you sane. Through all the years of her trying to fly before her wings were fully developed, God was making her and I stronger. The two of us have had quite a journey over the last 23 years. And even though I loved every second, even the hard stuff, I know it was all for a purpose. I could sense it in my spirit that the nest had become too small for her and I.  God had opened up ministry opportunities for me. I had a new passion for hiking and pickleball. I was learning to soar on my own and  Papa Bird and I were flying in sync on new adventures. 

So even though I have shed a few tears now and then, and a piece of my heart will always be soaring somewhere else, it’s all good. For God works all things for good for those who love Him and are called according to His purpose. (Romans 8:28)

For you Hovering Mama Birds out there with your little Baby Birds in the nest still, enjoy every moment but don’t clip their wings. One day when you see them soar to places you never imagined, you'll sit back in the nest and watch in amazement thinking it was all worth it. 

Love,
Yolanda